Sunday, July 26, 2020

J.D. Whelpley - "The Atoms of Chladni" (1860)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

James Davenport Whelpley (23 Jan., 1817-15 April 1872) was an American physician and author.

Whelpley was born in N. Y. City, 23 Jan., 1817. His father was Rev. Philip M. Whelpley, pastor of the 1st Presbyterian Church in N. Y. City, and his mother was Abigail Fitch Davenport, a descendant of the first minister of New Haven. He graduated from Yale College in 1837. After graduation he acted as assistant in Rogers' Geological Survey of Pennsylvania, for two years, and then entered the Medical Department of Yale College, where he graduated in 1842. He remained in New Haven until 1846, engaged in the study of the sciences, and in literary pursuits. He then went to Brooklyn, N. Y., and began to practice his profession, but was soon obliged to relinquish it from ill-health. In 1847, he removed to N. Y. City, and became the editor and one of the owners of the American Whig Review, to which he had been a frequent contributor from 1845. While thus engaged, in 1849, he formed a project of establishing a commercial colony in Honduras, and in furtherance of this enterprise, spent two years in San Francisco, purchasing and editing one of the daily papers there. His arrangements were disturbed by the presence of the filibuster William Walker in Honduras, and on going thither he was detained by Walker for nearly a year, enduring great privation, and being impressed into service as a surgeon. Escaping to San Francisco, he returned early in 1857 to the East, and again devoted himself to literature, and to scientific studies. For the last ten years of his life he was a great sufferer from asthma, which gradually developed into consumption of the lungs, of which disease he died, at his residence in Boston, 15 April 1872. Dr. Whelpley's publications show a most original mind, and his unpublished papers are even more remarkable. He was a member of the American Academy. His scientific researches were chiefly in physics and in metallurgy.

He married first, in Jan., 1848, Miss Anna M. Wells, of Roxbury, Mass., who died 29 July 1859, leaving one daughter. His second wife was Miss Mary L. Breed, of Virginia, whom he married in the autumn of 1861, and who survived him, with their three children, including Mary Taylor Brush.

(from Wikipedia, initially sourced from Yale Obituary Record)

BIBLIOGRAPHY (FICTION)

A Blind Man’s Love (1857), Harper’s New Monthly
Love After Marriage (1857), Harper’s New Monthly
Desmond the Speculator (1857), Harper’s New Monthly
The Lady of Belisle (1858), Harper’s New Monthly
The Denslow Palace (1858), Atlantic Monthly 
The Burning of Saltone Villa (1859), Harper’s New Monthly
The Atoms of Chladni (1860), Harpers New Monthly
He Was Always Such a Fool (1860), Harpers New Monthly
Courtship by Character (1862), Harpers New Monthly


THE ATOMS OF CHLADNI

Originally published in Harpers New Monthy Magazine, January 1860

GUSTAV MOHLER, the once celebrated inventor and mathematician, died last year (1858) in a private lunatic asylum. His wife, more accomplished than her husband, even in his best days, has also departed. The peace of God and the love of all went with her. To disclose the causes of Mohler’s alienation from her, and of the insanity which overtook him soon after, will offend no man‘s pride, no woman’s vanity. I wish, as a friend of Madam Mohler, to justify her. None who enjoyed her splendid hospitality or the delights of her conversation will be displeased with me for the attempt.

My first interview with Mohler was preconcerted by my friend P— , the savant. This was in the winter of 1854. We three met by appointment in a public library. My friend had been deceived by the serene enthusiasm of the inventor, and believed that he could communicate some valuable secrets. We sat at a round table in an alcove of the library inspecting plans and diagrams. For an hour the inventor explained, calculated; plunged into abysses of constructive dynamics ; his voice sounded drearily, under the Gothic hollows of the room. The old folios of alchemy and philosophy, twin children of ignorance, that cumbered three sides of the alcove where we sat listening to this mad man, seemed at last to nod and shake, in sympathy with his wild, interminably worded digressions. It was like the clown fighting with the hoop; intellect struggling in a vicious circle, maddened with its own exertion.

The enthusiast seemed to be between thirty and forty years of age; well formed, well dressed; a gentleman in manners. His voice and address were mild and insinuating, but the feeling he inspired most was compassion. His inventions were for the most part mere lunacies, violating every mechanical law. The instinct of common sense, a suspicion that he might be wrong, made him appear timid in his statements. He deferred to P—'s superior knowledge; asked him to point out the errors ; smiled sadly when P— intimated, with some asperity, his contempt for the whole matter.

I would willingly have talked to Mohler about himself, but his personal reserve repelled sympathy. He begged P— to look farther into the invention (a new motive power); said that something might have escaped him in the calculations ; but that, “as all these things were imparted to him by spiritual communication, he dared not abandon the research."

“Spirits,” replied P—, with one of his cutting scientific laughs, “will not enable you to circumvent God; and it is He, the Maker of the universe, who condemns your invention. It would wreck the universe.”

Mohler replied, meekly, that “he should be grieved to think that his spirit-friends had deceived him." He then drew me aside, and with a gleaming look askance at P— , who remained yawning and fretting over the table, “ He,” said Mohler, “is a materialist; but in you I have confidence." He then alluded to another invention of his own, which, he said, had been perfected by evil spirits, and had ruined him.

The eyes of the lunatic dilated, and a visible tremor shook his frame, as he described the machine. “It was a means,” he said, “to discover falsehood and treachery.” The spirit of Chladni communicated that to him—Chladni, the Frenchman who discovered the dancing of the atoms. “It is the same," he said, “in the atoms of the brain; they vibrate in geometrical forms, which the soul reads.”

P—, who had been watching us, alarmed at the maniacal excitement of Mohler, interrupted our conversation and hurried me away. Though the froth of madness had gathered upon his lips, the unfortunate inventor had still power enough over himself to show, in leave-taking, the urbanity of a gentleman.

As P— and I left the library together, I expressed a wish to learn something of the previous life of Gustav Mohler. P— said I was over-curious in such matters; for his part, the history of a madman was, of all, least entertaining, and useful only to those intelligent but unhappy persons who have charge of asylums. Of Gustav Mohler be neither knew nor desired to know any thing farther, and regretted the hour wasted in his company; which had delayed an important analysis of earths in which he was about to engage that day, in company with Professor M. “ I suppose,” he added, with a half sneer, “you are seeking characters for a novel, and you fancy the history of this creature might furnish you a high-seasoned dish of the horrible.”

And so we parted, in no very good humor with each other—I to my meditations, he to his earths.

Several months had passed, after this interview, before my accomplished and practical friend, the savant, saw fit to honor me with a visit. One cold, rainy night in November of the succeeding year I heard his firm, quick step in the hall. There was a knock, and the door of my room opened intrusively.

The savant stood in the door-way, his sharp nose peering under a glazed hat, and his form made shapeless by an ungainly water-proof cloak against the wind and rain of the night.

“Ah!” said he, “you are a fixture, I fear, by the fireside. But if you have courage to face this storm, I have a pleasure to propose.”

“Come in; lay off your storm armor, and we will talk about your pleasure.”

He complied in the hasty, discontented manner peculiar to him, threw his wet hat and cloak over a table covered with books and papers, and drew a chair.

“You will go with me," he said, authoritatively, “ to Charles Montague's this evening."

“Forty-second Street—through a northeasterly storm! Be wise—I have ordered whisky and hot water, with lemons." I rang the bell.

Professor P— had a weakness for punch, especially when I made it. He acquiesced, with a sigh.

“We can go late,” said he. “There is to be a meeting of rare people. At least two entomologists, an antiquarian, and a collector of curiosities from Germany, who has a tourmalin which I must steel or buy; it is yellow, or rather gold-colored. Then there will be a woman there—a Mrs. Bertaldy, American; a wonder of science, whom you must see.”

“P—, you are a fool. Scientific women are more odious to me than womanish men. The learning of a woman is only a desperate substitute for some lost attraction.”

“Very true, perhaps; I will think about that: but Mrs. Bertaldy is a beautiful, not to say a fascinating woman; only thirty years of age—rich, independent, and a delightful conversationist.”

“Hum! a widow?”

“Yes, at least I am so informed.”

“A friend of the Montagues?”

“They vouch for her.”

“And an American, you say?”

“Yes, with a foreign name—assumed, I suppose, to avoid some unpleasant recollections; scientific women, you know, have these things happen to them. Husband dead, and no children. Charles Montague swears that it is so; his wife protests it is so; and, of course, it must be so.”

“Another glass, and I am with you. We will visit the Montagues, and talk with Mrs. Bertady; but if you oblige me to listen to any of your alchemists or virtuosi, I promise to insult them.”

My first ten minutes’ conversation with Mrs. Bertaldy was a disappointment. She was of the quiet school of manners, low-voiced, and without gesture or animation. Her features were regular, well formed, rather dark, with just the merest trace of sadness.

The difference between mediocrity in a woman and the mean of perfection is not instantly visible, unless to very fine observers. Mrs. Bertaldy made no impression at the first view, but I found myself returning often to speak with her. Her talk was neither apophthegm, argument, nor commentary; it was a kind of sympathetic music. She bore her part in the concert of good words in a subdued and tasteful manner, putting in a note of great power and sweetness here and there, when there was a rest or silence.

P— was dissatisfied. Mrs. Bertaldy took no part in the noisy and tedious discussions of the means. On our way home he pronounced her “a humbug—a false reputation.” I, on the contrary, resolved to cultivate the acquaintance. It was agreeable. P— sees no points but the salient, in men or things; he is merely a naturalist.

My new acquaintance was domiciled with the Montagues, and I soon became an expected visitor and friend of their guest. Not, I beg to have it understood, in the manner of a lover, or wife hunter, but simply of one seeking agreeable society. The fastidious Montague and his good lady were impenetrable about the "antecedents" of Mrs. Bertaldy; but they treated her with a confidence and respect which satisfied me that her previous history was known to them, and that their sentiments toward her were grounded in esteem. They seemed to be afraid of losing a word of hers, when she was conversing. Her knowledge was various and positive, but she spoke of things and persons as if each were a feeling more than an object. I was not long in discovering that a part of the charm of Mrs. Bertaldy's society lay in the graceful and kind attention with which she listened. She encouraged one to talk, and shaped and turned conversation with an easy power.

One morning in April, while we were enjoying the first warm air of spring, and the odor of flowers, in Montague’s magnificent conservatory —the windows open to the south, and the caged birds cheering and whistling to each other amidst the orange-trees—I was describing a garden in the South; my language was apt and spontaneous. The lady listened with her delightful manner of pleased attention.

She was certainly a beautiful woman!

Her eyes dwelt upon mine, when, by I know not what association, the vision of the spirit haunted enthusiast rose before me, and I was silent.

Mrs. Bertaldy became pale, and gazing on my face with an expression of terror, she exclaimed,

“You were thinking of him. How strange!”

“Yes," I said; “ but do you know of whom I am thinking?”

“He is no longer living," she replied; “and we may now speak of him without wrong.”

“Of Mohler, the enthusiast?”

“The same.”

“How came you to know it was he I thought of?”

“You need not be surprised. We have been much together, and though you have not named Mohler—he was my husband—you have made remarks and allusions which convinced me that you at least knew him, if not his history.”

“True, I have spoken of his inventions, and often wished they were real and possible.”

“And your allusions have made me shudder. Mohler was mad. You will think me mad, I am afraid, if I assure you that some of his inventions, the most wonderful of all, were perfected and applied before his reason left him.”

“You were, then, the wife of this man!” I said, with a feeling of compassion.

“Yes. Our parents were foreign, though Gustav and I were born and educated in America.”

“Will you tell me something of this marriage?” said I, touched with deep interest. She sighed, but after a moment’s meditation spoke with her usual manner.

“We were united by our parents. Mohler was in his twenty-first year; I but seventeen. We had no children; were rich, educated, luxurious. Mohler addicted himself to inventions, I to society. He faded into a recluse; I became a woman of the world. Our home was divided against itself. We occupied a double house in D— Street. One half was reserved by Mohler for himself and his mechanics; the other half by me for my friends and visitors, whom he seldom saw. Within five years after our marriage I was left to my own guidance. Our parents died. Fearing the wasteful expenditure of Mohler on his strange inventions, they willed their property exclusively to me. Their fears for him were well-founded. On the anniversary of the seventh year of our marriage, at midnight, after a musical entertainment—I was then passionately fond of music—Mohler entered my chamber, which he had not visited for a year. He closed the door, locked it quietly, drew a chair to the bedside, facing me, and seated himself.

“‘Maria Bertaldy,’ he said, after a silence which I took pains not to break, ‘we are no longer man and wife.’

“I made no reply. My heart did not go out, as formerly, to meet him.

“‘My name is not yours,’ he added.

“‘No? And why, Gustav?’

“‘My lawyer is about to furnish me with evidence which will make our continued union impossible.’

“‘Your lawyer!’ I exclaimed, starting up, in voluntarily. ‘My friend, Raymond Bonsall?'

“‘Your friend, Maria! Has he deceived me? Forgive me if I have wronged you. My soul is dark sometimes.’

“There was a manner so wretched and pleading with what he said, I could not forbear pity. His dress was soiled; his hair hung in elf locks; his eyes were bloodshot with glowering over furnace-fires. The poisonous fume of the crucible had driven the healthy tinge from his face, and given it the hue of parchment.

“‘It is many a long year,’ said I, ‘ since you have looked at me with kindness.’

“‘I have deserved,’ he answered, ‘to lose your affection; but you should have taken better care of my honor and your own.’

“‘The guardianship of both seems to have been transferred to your lawyer.’ -

“‘I may believe, then, that you are indifferent in regard to that?’

“‘You may believe what you will. I have been long enough my own guardian to look to no one for advice or protection.’

“‘You are rich.’

“‘That is a consolation, truly. I am thus not without means of defense—more fortunate than most women.’

“‘And I have nothing but that of which you have been willing to deprive me.’

“‘Your accusations—more especially as you are the last person who is entitled to make them —I repel with contempt. For your loss of fortune, miserably expended in futilities, I am deeply grieved. If you are in need of money, for your personal expenses, take freely of mine.’

“‘I am in debt.’

“‘How much?’

“He named a large sum. I rose, and going to the escritoir, wrote an order for the amount. He followed me. The tears were streaming from his eyes. Kneeling at my feet, he seized my hands and covered them with kisses.

“I had formerly entertained an affectionate regard for Gustav. We were at one time play mates, friends. Regret made me look kindly upon him.

“He caught eagerly at the indication.

“‘I will not rise, Maria,’ he said, ‘until you have forgiven the cruel accusation. So much goodness and generosity can not proceed from a faithless or dishonored wife.’

“‘You judge truly, my husband.’

“He rose from his knees, still holding my hands in both of his.

“‘You have saved me,’he said, ‘by your liberality. Grant me still another favor: let the reconciliation be perfect.’

“‘Any thing for a better life; but only on one condition can you and I live happily, as at first.’

“‘And that is—?’

“‘That you change your occupation—give up these wild researches—spare your body and your soul, and live as other men do, in simplicity.’

“‘But,’ said he, stammering, ‘I have an invention of incalculable value. To give it up now would be to lose the labor of years.’

“‘And this other favor is— ?’

“‘I must have means to continue my work.’

“‘I will not furnish you with the means of self-destruction.’

“‘Limit me. Your income is large; you will hardly miss what I require.’

“‘For how long?’

“‘One year. I shall then have perfected what will immortalize and enrich me. Pity me, Maria! We have no children. You have your pleasures and pursuits; I, only this; and this you deny me!’ he exclaimed, with a slight bitterness, so artfully mingled with affection and repentance, my heart gave way. I consented.

“Gustav was not without personal beauty or manliness of character. He now studied again to please my tastes. We resumed our former relations. Though his days were devoted to labor, his evenings were given to me and my guests. His cheerfulness seemed to have returned. I was so happy in the change, I allowed him to draw from me large sums. My fortune was still ample; and I looked forward to the happy ending of the appointed year.

“You are doubtless surprised that I could so easily forgive his accusations. Satisfied that Raymond Bonsall, the lawyer, who had persecuted me, before the reconciliation, with unsolicited attentions, was the originator and cause of Mohler’s suspicions, I had dismissed the subject from my thoughts. Indeed, my happiness expelled revengeful passions, even against Bonsall himself. As the friend of Gustav, I received him with courtesy, and he continued an accepted member of the refined and elegant society with which it was our good fortune to be surrounded.

“With surprising address Bonsall changed his plan. As before he had been secretly attentive, now he was openly and constantly devoted, but shunned me when alone.

“Bonsall‘s influence over Mohler became, at last, absolute and inscrutable. It did not satisfy me to hear them repeat, often and openly, that they were partners in the invention; that Bonsall had purchased an interest; and that they consulted together daily on its progress. Anxiety led me to observe them. Daily, at a certain hour in the afternoon, Bonsall entered the house and passed into the lower work-shop. There he would remain a while, and then retire. In the evening he appeared often in the drawing-room, and never failed to make himself agreeable to our friends.

“The instinct of a woman, correct in appreciating character and motives, fails always in sounding the complicated and strategic depth of masculine perfidy. I soon knew that Bonsall had become my enemy, and that his ultimate purpose was to avenge my repulses and defeat my reconciliation with Mohler; but the singularity and constancy of his behavior—attentive in public, and reserved and cautious when alone with me—together with the pains he used to create for himself relations more and more intimate with my husband, puzzled and confused me.

“‘Could it be,’ thought I, ‘that his public attentions, so embarrassing and yet so blameless; his watchfulness of my desires, when others could see them as well as he, are to impress a belief that his private relations are too intimate?’

“The suspicion gave me excessive uneasiness. I gradually broke the matter to Mohler; but he assured me I was mistaken; that Bonsall suffered remorse for the injury he had inflicted upon both of us; that our reconciliation alone consoled him; that Bonsall was his adviser in the invention, which already, at the eighth month of the stipulated period, had nearly reached perfection. His tenderness quieted my fears, and I too easily believed him.

“Soon after he proposed certain changes in the architecture and furniture of my apartments. His reasons seemed to me satisfactory and kind. I vacated the rooms for a month, leaving him to improve and alter. He wished to give me a surprise. The apartment was large, with a dressing-room and ante-chamber. These were refitted under Mohler’s direction; after which, in company with a few friends, we visited the new rooms.

“The ceiling had been made slightly concave; in the centre was a large oval mirror. This mirror, so strangely placed overhead, excited general admiration. Bonsall was, or pretended to be, in raptures with it. I observed that the mirror, beautifully fair and polished, was not of glass, but of a metal resembling silver.

“From this brilliant centre-piece radiated panels exquisitely carved, with frescoes of graceful and simple design. The carpets, wall mirrors, fountain, statuettes, jewel and book-cases, tapestries, tinted and curtained windows, all were perfectly elegant, and fresh with living colors in harmonious combination.

“In the centre of the ceilings of the dressing room and ante-chambers were smaller mirrors of the same metal. This new style of ornament, supported by adequate elegances, and a perfection of detail of which I had never before seen the parallel, occupied continual notice and remark. Some criticised and laughed, but the most admired; for the beauty of the effect was undeniable.

“I was surprised and delighted at the results of my husband‘s labors. That Mohler, a great inventor and mechanic, was also a master of design, I had always believed. With the genius of Benvenuto Cellini be united a philosophical intellect, and by long years of research in the metallurgic arts had acquired extraordinary tact. In the least details of the work of these rooms there was novelty and beauty, though, with the sole exception of the metal mirrors, I observed nothing absolutely new in material.

“Mohler did not fail to observe, and turn to his own advantage, my gratification and surprise. He at once sought and obtained leave from me to occupy a suit of apartments next above mine, in exchange for others on his side of the house, which, he said, were too dark and narrow for his purpose.

“I sent immediately for my housekeeper, ordered the change to be made, and the keys given to the master.

“By a tacit understanding we had never intruded upon each other. I had not penetrated the privacy of Mohler's work-rooms, where certain confidential artisans labored night and day; nor had he overstepped the limit on my side of the house. He breakfasted, and generally dined, in his atelier, superintending operations which required a constant oversight.

“For more than two months after the completion of my own apartments I was disturbed day and night by noises of repairs and changes going on above. Mohler assured me that this would not continue; that he had perfected and was erecting the delicate machinery of his invention.

“Want of curiosity is, I believe, a greater fault than the excess of it. I am naturally incurious. It did not irritate my fancy to remain in ignorance of secrets that did not seem to concern me. My husband and I lived together in a manner that was at least satisfactory. Our affection was only an agreeable friendship, such as many consider the happiest relation that can exist between husband and wife. Our too early and hasty marriage had kept us in ignorance of the joys and miseries dreamed of and realized only by mature and long-expectant passion.

“You will not suppose that life was therefore tedious or fruitless. My parents had given me a full and judicious education. I could speak and write several languages. Mature and difficult studies—philosophy, natural history, and even astronomy—established for me relations of amity with learned and accomplished men. I wrote verse and prose, attempted plays, observed and sympathized with political movements. In order to perfect myself in languages, I cultivated the admirable art of phonography, and would sometimes fix in writing the rapid and brilliant repartee of accomplished persons, who could forget my presence in the excitement of conversation. I learned to prefer the living to the written word. Literature for me was only a feeble reflection of reality; for I have never found in books that vivacity, that grace, that unfolding of the interior life, which makes social converse the culmination of all that is excellent and admirable.

“At the expiration of the year Mohler announced the completion of his grand work, which he had been seven years in perfecting. I thought he would have told me its purpose; but with a cold and embarrassed manner he presented me with a check upon his banker, just equal to the sum of all I had advanced to him during the year. His behavior was mortifying, and even alarming. I noticed a gradual change in the manners and conversation of Bonsall. He assumed airs of authority. Mohler gradually withdrew himself, and began to be reserved and serious; criticising my conduct, friends, principles, and tastes. More mysterious still was the gradual loss and defection of my most valued female acquaintances. My parlors were gradually deserted. Old friends dropped away. It was as though I had become suddenly poor, when, in fact, my wealth and magnificence of living had increased. Persons of good name no longer responded to or returned my invitations. I was alone with my wealth, dispossessed of its power and its enjoyments.

“I knew that Bonsall continued to visit the friends who had deserted me. He still frequented our house, was daily closeted with my husband, and treated me now with a careless indifference. Mohler, on the other hand, withdrew until he and I were completely separated. We no longer spoke to or even saw each other. My servants became insolent; I procured others, who, in their turn, insulted me. I grew care less of externals; lived retired, occupied with books and music. Through these I acquired fortitude to resist the contempt of the world. My knowledge increased. These sad months, interrupted by short visits to the country, produced no change in my social or marital relations, but gave me an inward strength and consolation which since then has served me like an arm of God whereon one may lean and sleep.

“While these changes were succeeding I enjoyed a source of consolation which I need only name and you will appreciate it; that was the correspondence of Charles Montague, then in Europe. He had been the friend and counselor at my parents, and continued his goodness to me after their death. I confided to him all my troubles, giving him each month a written narrative of events. He replied always in general terms, mentioning no names, and giving advice in such a form that it could be understood by no person but myself. This was a just precaution, for I had discovered a system of espionage which Bonsall and my husband maintained over me, a part of which was the inspection of private papers.

“Gradually all my valuable papers, receipts, copies of deeds, important correspondence with the agents who had charge of my large and increasing property, Montague‘s letters, my private journal, were abstracted. I made no complaint, trusted no person with my secrets.

“At the expiration of this year of estrangement and solitude, in the fall, Montague returned from Europe with his family, and fitted up this house. Mrs. M. I had not known until then. Neither of them had visited at my house, nor were they on terms of intimacy with any of my friends. Even Bonsall was a stranger to Montague, and Mohler had disliked and avoided him. Plain sense and honesty run counter to his dreamy vanity.

“I was received by the Montagues with great kindness. I found the lady, as you have, intelligent and amiable, and the man himself become, from a mere guardian of my property, a warm and devoted friend. I consumed almost an entire day in narrating what had passed between myself, Bonsall, my husband, servants, and acquaintances.

“Montague made minutes, and compared the narrative with my correspondence.

“‘I am convinced,’ he said, ‘that there is a conspiracy; but whether your life and property, or merely a divorce, is the object, can not be determined without some action on your part. Find out the purpose of the changes that have been made in your apartments, and by all means visit and inspect those that are above you. You must do this for and by yourself. You are ob serving and not easily intimidated. You have a right to use any means that may be convenient —to pick locks, force open doors, seize and inspect papers, bribe servants, and in other ways defend yourself and obtain advantages over the enemy. Count no longer upon the good-will or affection of Mohler. He is resolved to sacrifice you and possess himself of your property, but is still at a loss for evidence.’

“With these words Montague concluded his advice. He then led me to a front window, and painted to a dark figure in the shadow on the opposite side of the street.

“‘That person,’ said Montague, ‘is certainly a spy employed by Mohler and Bonsall. He arrived at the same moment with yourself, has passed the house many times, and now watches for your departure. He has an understanding with your coachman. I saw them conversing in the area about noon.’

“It was late, and I proposed to return home. Montague and his wife wished me to pass the night with them. ‘But first,‘ said Charles, ‘we will amuse ourselves a little with the spy.’ He took pistols from a drawer, went out by the basement, and returned in a few moments to the study, where Mrs. M. and I were sitting, driving in the spy before him.

“‘Now, Sir,’ said Charles, ‘sit you down and tell your story. Out with it. You are employed by Bonsall and Mohler to watch this lady.'

“The man grinned, nodded, and seated himself quietly near the door, much in the manner of a cat preparing to run.

“‘This person,’ said Montague to us, ‘is a volunteer detective, employed chiefly by weak-minded husbands and jealous wives. You can not insult him. He will voluntarily expose his person to any degree of violence short of maiming or murder. Kicks he pays no heed to. He passes in public for a sporting gentleman, and is, in fact and name, a Vampire. By-the-by, Mr. Crag,’ said he, changing his tone, ‘you may have forgotten me. You were employed, if I remember right, in the Parkins murder case, were you not?’

“‘Yes, Sir. You were counsel for defense.’

“‘Exactly. I think you followed me to my lodgings several times at night, and were shot through the leg for taking so much unnecessary trouble.’

“‘Yes.’

“‘Well, Mr. Crag, I caution you that the same, or a worse matter, will happen to you again, if you continue to watch persons entering my house. I may fire upon you.’

“‘The law will protect me.’

“‘Not at all. You watch my house; you are not a qualified policeman; you are consequently either a burglar or a conspirator. I can shoot you if I wish. You have admitted that Bonsall and Mohler employed you to watch this lady. Go to the table and write a full testimonial of the fact, or take a lodging in the Tombs to-night. Write dates, facts—all in full.’

“The Vampire did not evince any emotion, but refused to write. After some hesitation, however, he made a general confession of his motives in following and watching myself. It was to the effect that, on the 20th of October, of the year 185—, Raymond Bonsall, lawyer, of New York, and Gustav Mohler had sent for him to the house of said Mohler, and had there proposed to him to watch, follow, and dog the wife of Mohler, at all hours of the day and night, and to employ others to do the same, for the space of one month from that date; and to report all her actions, movements, speech, disguises, the names and occupations of all persons with whom she associated—in short, every particular of her conduct and life; for which they were to give the sum of twenty dollars a day, the half to Crag, and the rest to coachmen and assistants in his employ; that he had been occupied in this work ten days, and had each day given in a written account of his espionage. Crag rose to depart.

“‘You will see Bonsall and Mohler to-night,’ said Montague, ‘and report to them what has happened.’

“‘That,’ said Crag, ‘is impossible—they are out of town.’

“‘Good; then you can not. Please observe that I shall be in possession of Bonsall's papers within a month. If any of yours are found among them you will be terribly handled.’

“‘How?’ said Crag, anxiously.

“‘I will have you up in the Perkins affair, and some other little matters—the burglary in D Street, for instance, 25th of June.’

“The Vampire's impassible countenance relaxed into a horrible smile. ‘I see, Mr. Montague, that you are watching me. I will go, but let her look out. Bonsall has made up his mind; and he's got Swipes—a better man than I; and if they can’t convict her of something they’ll have her poisoned. Bonsall's a better man than you, Mr. Montague, and he’s got the papers.’

“‘What papers?'

“‘Proofs against the lady. All kinds. A will, for instance.’

“‘Forgery?’

“‘In course; but you can‘t prove it.’

“‘How came you to know that?’

“‘Well, you know Bonsall wanted to get rid of Mohler and marry his widow, years ago. He was afraid to go the common way to work; so he encouraged him in working at his lunatic notions—some kind of machinery that no man ever heard of, thinking it would kill or craze him; but Mohler succeeded, and Bonsall had to lay a new plan. He furnished Mohler with the money to repay the loan he made from his wife. A German chemist Mohler has in his laboratory told me this. He can’t speak English, but understands it, and I speak German. Well, Bonsall and Mohler have got a quantity of written evidence against Madam Mohler—a volume of it—all in writing—conversations of hers with some person who visits her room.’

“At this point of Crag‘s narrative Montague’s innocent wife looked at me with a sorrowing and pitiful expression. I paid no heed to it.

“‘With your permission, Mr. Montague,’ said I, ‘let me continue the examination.’

“He acquiesced.

“‘Mr. Crag,’ said I, ‘do you believe that I conversed with any person in my room?’

“‘It's a common thing, marm, and it might be, for aught I know. Mohler believes it; but he is awfully perplexed to know who it was you were talking with. I believe Bonsall knew who it was, but he would not tell Mohler.’

“‘How came you to be so minutely informed?’

“‘Why, marm, you must know every profession has its ins and outs; it isn't enough to earn money, you must know how to get it when you have earned it; that is more than half. Now, when I am employed by any party to watch an other I watches both; else I couldn't make it pay. I spend half my time watching Mohler and Bonsall, when they suppose I am after you. I thought there was small chance of a conviction, and I wanted to threaten Mohler and Bonsall for conspiracy, and make ’em pay a bonus at the end of the business, afore they gev up.’

“‘Well?’

“‘The German chemist, you must know, marm, agreed to divide with me, and will be ready with his evidence when he finds there is nothing more to be made out of Mohler, who agreed to give him a share in the invention, but was obliged to sell the chemist’s share to Bonsall.’

“‘What is the invention?’

“ ‘ I don’t know—never could find out. These Germans are naterally mysterious about mechanical and chemical matters, though they’ll tell any thing else.‘

“‘What was the real purpose of Bonsall?”

“‘He hated you because you had slighted him. He has forged a will of old Bertaldy, your father. The chemist helped him to do that. This forged will leaves every thing to Mohler instead of yourself, and Mohler has mortgaged all in advance to Bonsall for funds to carry on the work. The chemist says that the invention is worth more than the telegraph; that Mohler is the greatest genius in the world or that ever lived; but, he says, a man without any feelings, marm, only bitter jealous—’

“‘Had Mohler a hand in the forging of the will?’

“‘No, that was Bonsall’s work; but the other knew of it. He thought that the property should have been left to him to accomplish the “great and beneficial “or ;" so he called it, meaning the invention. You, madam, he said, spent money in frivolities; he, in doing good to the world.’

“‘Did he or Bonsall converse about my death?’

“‘No, menu; it is Mohler, I believe, who is to be made away with, if any one—not you; and then Bonsall would find a means to make you marry himself.’

“‘What means?’ interposed Montague.

“‘Why, the common means, I suppose. He’d scare the lady into it. He’d have a pile of evidence against her to hurt her reputation, and women, you know, like the madam, are afraid of that. And there is the forged will in his possession, leaving all the property to Mohler, and Bonsall holding claims and- notes covering the estate. In fact, he'd be sure to do it, Sir.’

“During the conversation I had written, in phonographic characters, all that had been said. Coming forward, I laid my note-book on the table. ‘Mr. Crag,’ I said, ‘the testimony you have given is written here, word for word. I shall copy it in full, and I expect you to sign your name to it.’

“‘Not without pay, marm,’ replied the Vampire, rising.

“‘You will remember,’ said Montague, ‘that these ladies are witnesses to your demand.’

“‘ Black-mail, eh !‘ chuckled the Vampire. ‘I never testify unless I am paid, and I never sign.’

“‘It is unnecessary,‘ said I, coming before Crag. ‘You are one of three engaged in a double conspiracy against Mr. Mohler and myself for life, or money, or both.’

“‘ I will dispense with the signature,’ interposed Montague; ‘ but you must leave the city immediately, or suffer arrest for conspiracy.’

“‘It’s a good job,‘ said the Vampire, reflectively, ‘ and I don’t like to leave it. Can’t you make an offer?—say fifty dollars on account, marm — and I‘ll keep dark for a month.’

“‘I‘m afraid not.’

“‘In that case I can’t go.’

“Montague looked at his wife; she pulled a bell-rope. The sight of Montague’s pistol, which he cocked and held ready, kept the Vampire from moving, though he was near the door. A servant entered.

“‘John, go to Captain Melton, and tell him to send me a good officer.’

“Fifteen minutes of silence followed, during which time the Vampire neither moved nor spoke. The officer entered, recognized Crag, and took him away.

“The movement of our lives is a tide that floats us on toward an unknown destiny. This we call Providence. It is doubtless the will of God working in events and circumstances. It is rather like the motion of the great globe, moving silent and irresistible through the void of space. We struggle and fret with trifles, while Divinity wafts us onward. All is for the development of the soul; to strengthen, expand, and purify its powers. Grandeur will come hereafter; in this life there is only a nursing germ of goodness and power.

“These thoughts came first into my mind while I sat looking at the miserable face of the Vampire, waiting to be taken away like a rat in a cage. Anger, terror, revenge passed away like a cloud. I hated not Mohler, nor feared the wiles of the demoniacal Bonsall. Montague wished me to remain with him, using his house as an asylum. I thanked him, but declined the offer. He feared for my life. I knew too well the weakness of my enemies to entertain such fears.

“Montague imaged to himself, in the secret invention, some unheard-of infernal machine which would take life quietly. He believed that the metallic mirrors fixed in the ceilings of my apartments were a portion of the machinery. I promised that I would not sleep until the mystery of the mirrors had been explained.

“It was the third hour of the morning when I reached home, and entered, as usual, by the side-door of the garden. My servants were junketing in the kitchen. On Mohler's side of the house all was dark, closed, and silent. The conspirators were absent. I passed in unobserved, changed my dress, and went up stairs to the rooms above mine. The doors were locked. The door of the German chemist’s room opposite stood ajar. A gas-jet, turned low, as the occupant had left it, guided me to a table. In a small side-drawer were several pass-keys of unusual shape. With one of these I succeeded in entering the machine-room, over my own. After closing the shutters and lighting the burners, I looked around me with a novel sensation of intense curiosity, not unmingled with fear.

“The apartment was of the full depth and width of the house; all the partitions having been removed, and the floors above supported by posts of wood. Over the centre of each room of my apartments, and consequently over each of the three metallic mirrors, stood a table about six feet square, of the usual height, solidly framed, and supporting pieces of machinery — a combination of clock-work, galvanic engines, wires coiled myriads of times around poised, pendent, or vibrating magnets; a microcosm of mechanical powers which it were impossible to describe. The three tables were connected by decuple systems of copper wires suspended from the ceiling by glass rods, and associated with a gang of batteries, sixty in number, arranged in double tiers along the side of the room, ten paces in length. From these came out a sickening fume of acid corrosion, the death and decay of metals. From these, it seemed to me, an electric power might be drawn equal to the lightning in destructive force.

“A shuddering horror seized and shook me as I gazed around upon this vast and gloomy apparatus, which some secret intimation told me had been accumulated and connected here to work for me either death or ruin; but the terror was momentary, and again I addressed myself with courage to the investigation.

“The floor of the apartment had been covered first with moss, and then with thick felt, which deadened the sound of footsteps. Around each of the tables, from their edges, depended three fold curtains of green baize. I raised one of these curtains, and the light penetrating beneath, revealed the upper surface of the metallic mirror, perfectly polished, of which the lower was a part of the ceiling of my rooms. Points of platina wire, as fine and pliable as spider-webs — perhaps a hundred in number—touched the mirror in a certain regular order, the surface upon which they rested being divided into the same number of mathematical figures, representing, as it seemed to me, the system of vibrations of the plate. The wires were connected above with the complicated magnetic machinery which rested on the table. The same arrangement appeared under each of the three tables.

“Equidistant from the tables, and nearly in the centre of the apartment, stood a wide desk, or writing-table, on which rested another piece of machinery, less complex than the others, but connected with all of them by a system of wires. This was evidently a telegraphic apparatus for the transmission of signals generated by the larger machinery. On the desk lay a record book, and a card marked with phonographic signs, for the use of the operator, corresponding with others upon the signal-wheel, and which were marked by a needle-point on a coil of paper, as in the ordinary telegraph.

“Facing the seat of the operator, on the table, stood a clock marking hours, minutes, and seconds.

“I seated myself at the desk, placed the record before me, and opened it at hazard. It was a journal of months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and even seconds. There were three hand writings, giving the dates and moments of making entries. In these I recognized the alternate work of Mohler, Bonsall, and the German.

“Although the writings were phonographic, representing only the elementary sounds of the human voice, I read them easily.

“I had but just begun the perusal of the record when the touch of a cold hand upon my shoulder, like the fingers of a corpse, caused me to spring from my seat with a cry.

“It was Bonsall. He stepped forward as I rose. The short figure of this man, my persecutor, in his slouched hat and traveling cloak, with the eternal saturnine smile, and eyes twinkling savagely under black projecting brows, reminded me of all I had read of conspirators. His face, at that moment of horror, seemed to me like that of a. vulture; the livid skin clung to the cheek-bones, and the lines of the month were cruel and cold.

“‘I should not have returned here to-night,’ he said, ‘but for an accident. I was not so far distant but that a messenger could reach me with information of Crag's arrest by our friend Montague. He has, of course, betrayed every thing?’

“‘Yes,’ I replied, reassured by the quiet manner of Bonsall, ‘I am acquainted with the particulars of your conspiracy to destroy Mohler and myself.’

“‘Are you not afraid to confess the knowledge, alone with me in this solitary place?'

“‘Are you a murderer?’

“‘Alas! Madam, it is you who are the destroyer. I fear you now as one who controls my destiny, and can blast my good name and fortune with a word.’

“A long, deep sigh of relief escaped silently from me. I no longer feared Bonsall. He saw his advantage and hastened to improve it.

“‘Montague is my own and your husband‘s enemy. We employed a spy to observe him. The spy endeavored to extort money from your tenors. Lying is his vocation. Reasonable persons should not confide in the assertions of a Vampire. Cease to fear and believe him and he is powerless.’

“‘Mohler‘s first enemy,’ I answered, ‘is his own unnatural jealousy. You may, perhaps, claim a second place. But we need not speak of that at present.’

“‘Were not you tempted by an equal jealousy to penetrate the privacy of this apartment?’

“‘Beware, Sir, how you trespass upon my hospitality. Your presence in this house is merely tolerated. Retire. If you have any repentance or apology to submit, let it be in the light of day and in the presence of witnesses, as heretofore.’

“A flash of rage lighted up the noble but vulturine face. It was momentary. He assumed an attitude of polite humility, bowed low, and seemed willing to leave me, as I desired, but he hesitated.

“‘Speak,’ I said, quickly, ‘if you have any thing to add: I wish to be alone.’

“‘Forget, if only for a moment,’ said Bonsall, doubling his effort to appear humble and repentant— ‘forget your enmity, while I explain to you the uses of this mysterious apparatus. As a piece of mechanism it is the grandest achievement of modern science, and besides that,’ he added, in a significant tone, ‘you have an interest in the matter. It was made partly for you.’

"There was a cold, malicious impudence in the expression, ‘It was partly for you,’ that made me shrink; but I remembered my promise to the Montagues, and allowed the wily conspirator to engage my attention by a lucid and wonderfully condensed and simple explanation of the machinery. I had read and seen enough of chemistry and mechanics to comprehend all.

“‘It was you,’ he said, ‘who suggested the idea of the invention, though you were not conscious of it at the time. Five years ago, in the winter of the fifth year after your marriage, Mohler became intimately acquainted with me. The following summer he disclosed to me his suspicion of your fidelity. He knew that your affection for him had declined into a temperate and sisterly friendship, and he believed that you had given your heart to a man of more brilliancy and personal power than himself.’

“‘Whom did he suspect?’

“‘I am his counselor, and dare not violate confidence. His suspicions were soon after transferred to a person much more innocent.’

“‘Yourself?’

“‘Yes. I own that, at first, I was deeply impressed by your beauty and intelligence; but he strewed I soon learned that these were defended by your virtue against ordinary, or even extraordinary, temptations.’

“‘The “extraordinary” being the seductive manners and the wit of Mr. Bonsall.’

“‘The same, Madam,’ replied the lawyer, coldly.

“‘Men of genius, Mr. Bonsall, are said to be the best judges of their own ability.’

“‘Even when it is a secret from the rest of the world. I admire the sarcasm; but let me proceed. You were reading aloud, to a circle of savants, a chapter from a French journal, reviving, with the vivacity and elegance peculiar to the scientific literature of France, the old discoveries of Chladni, who found that musical vibrations imparted to tablets of glass or metal caused particles of sand, or finer powders, which he strewed upon their surfaces, to assume a regular distribution, dancing and arranging themselves, like sentient beings, to the sound of music. The hand which held the pamphlet was a delicate, a beautiful hand, sparkling with diamonds, and blushing with the same intellectual enthusiasm  which inspired a melodious voice that warbled, more than it uttered, the mellow periods of the author. The face, the form, the lips, the eyes, fair rounded arm, and the grace of attitude —much more than the interest of what you read- inspired your auditors with admiration. Mohler alone suffered in that circle: jealousy devoured his heart. The admiring savants listened with delight while you spoke of the atoms of Chladni and of Epicurus, and led us, by a ravishing disquisition, from the cold, angular ideas of mechanics into the rich sunlight of poetry and philosophy. While the dancing atoms of Chladni became to me the cause of passionate admiration, they suggested to your jealous spouse a means, as he conceived, of proving your suspected infidelity, even in its least and slightest expressions.’

“‘Miserable man!’ I exclaimed, with an expression of equal pity and scorn.

“Bonsall smiled furtively, and continued:

“‘Mohler found it necessary to have an adviser and a confidant. I became both. Yes, Madam, I confess it. An irresistible passion seized upon my heart. I burned to separate you, by all and any means, even the most criminal, from him, that I might induce you to become the wife of a man who could better appreciate you. You seemed to me a woman worthy of my highest ambition. I was ready to devote my existence to the hope of one day possessing you.

“‘Ah! beware, Madam, of despising me. You rejected my involuntary admiration. You made me, at last, an enemy; but,’ he added, quietly, ‘I am now repentant, and desire to become your friend.’

“Without waiting for my reply, Bonsall, throwing off his cloak, directed my attention first to a broad plate of thin metal suspended from the ceiling by threads of silk. Over this fine dust from a woolen bag, and then, as he drew a violin bow over its edge, I saw the dust gather and arrange itself in geometrical forms, consonant with the tone imparted.

“‘See,’ said he, ‘ The ATOMS of Chladni'. They mark the tone; but the plate, as you well know, has become electrified by vibration. The mirrors of your ceiling are each a vibrating plate. From the upper surface of these rise wire conductors of the electric power generated by the vibration. This is faint and feeble at first, but, by passing through metallic threads coiled a thousand times round small magnets—each geometrical division of the plate corresponding with a magnet and with a radical sound of the human voice—it has power to connect and disconnect the keys of the batteries ten thousand times more powerful, giving motion to the wheels and pendulums, which, in their turn, move the needles of the register—with a slow or swift motion—piercing more or fewer points in this strip of paper, from which, by such wonderful means, has been read off and written every clearly articulated sound uttered in your apartments.’

“Not until that moment did the horrible reality flash through my heart, attended by a thrill of hatred and disgust as though given by the touch of a serpent. Hatred for Bonsall as: withering scorn of my wretched husband to full possession of me.

“After a brief silence, during which I succeeded in mastering the violence of these emotions: ‘This record, then,’ I said, ‘is the result of your labors ?’

“‘Yes,’ he answered, with the old furtive smile playing about the cruel mouth; ‘in that book your most secret and confidential conversations are recorded.’

“‘Stolen property,’ I said, taking up the book, ‘goes back to the right owner.’

“‘Ah!’ said he, laughing, ‘we have a duplicate, a copy to which you are welcome; but this one,’ snatching the volume with a slight of hand, ‘belongs to me.’

“‘A gentleman!’ I said, with I know not what sneering addition, for the littleness of the action inspired me with contempt.

“‘A fine word, Madam, properly used— counterpart of the word “lady ;" both significant of many virtues; and among those I class purity of mind and conduct. Look,’ said he, placing and opening the volume before me. ‘Read for yourself.’

“The day of the entry was Saturday of the week previous, one hour and five minutes past midnight. I read under this date the transcript of a conversation between two lovers, one of whom deplored the folly and jealousy of. a silly husband; the other urged an elopement. Then followed signs of inarticulate sounds.

“Immediately after, dated at ten in the morning of the next day, was a conversation of mine with Marian, my dressing maid, concerning certain garments which she asked from me. I remembered the conversation.

“‘There are ninety distinct entries of the record,’ said Bonsall, closing the book, ‘and of these, more than twenty are conversations between the same pair of affectionate lovers. All must have taken place in your room ; and please observe, that whenever these interesting conversations have occurred you were at home and in your room.’

“‘Either your machinery, or yourself, Mr. Bonsall, is a contemptible liar. I confess the ingenuity of the contrivance; but it seems to me that half a dozen perjured witnesses would have been a much less expensive and trouble some apparatus. Have you no better or more reasonable testimony than this ? You are a lawyer; so am not I.’

“‘It would be a profound gratification—yes, a happiness to me,’ he answered, ‘ could you establish your innocence.’

“‘I will do it here, and now. Put your machinery in order for its work. The ninety-first entry will explain the others.’

“The lawyer hesitated; but seeing no change of countenance or movement on my part, but only a certain resolute passivity, he proceeded—maintaining his rôle of disinterested friend—to adjust the telegraphic machinery and connect the galvanic apparatus in a continued chain.

He may have been five minutes occupied in this manner, during which time a low murmur, like the frothiug of the sea, rose from the three thousand couplets of electrified metals, eroded by the biting fluids of the troughs; then touching a heavy pendulum on each of the three tables, and communicating life to the apparatus by winding a powerful spring, he stood aside, and asked me what I would have him do next.

“Without replying, I raised the thick baize curtain which concealed the metal mirror under the larger of the tables, and, stooping down, uttered, slowly, a few distinct words. The clicking of the needle showed that they had been recorded, as I spoke, on the slip of paper at the telegraph desk.

“‘It appears to me,’ said I, glancing at the scowling, troubled face of my enemy, ‘that you do not at this moment enjoy so greatly the proof of my innocence, and—pardon me if I add—of your own villainy. Your villainous machine records words spoken in this room, above the mirror, as clearly as though they had been uttered below it, in my chamber. The enamored conversations that occupy so many pages of this volume, resembling a poor novel, have been composed by yourself; proving, Sir, the just equality of your literary talent and your virtue.’

“The dark eyes of Bonsall flashed malignant fires. Shuddering and shrugging with impotent rage, he began pacing with heavy strides, his hands clasped nervously behind him, back and forth the long room. Twice, as he passed me, he threw deadly glances. I wished to retire, but would not. There is something awfully attractive in the exhibition of destructive passions. My eyes followed the man, who at that moment contemplated every possibility of violence, with a fixed regard of terror and curiosity. I felt that we were acting a part, but the actors were sincere, and thought nothing of the possible scorn or applause that might follow the lifting of the curtain.

“At length utterance returned to him, and he gave vent to his accumulated rage in a curse. Raising his right arm, he cursed me as he passed before me, with the addition of such words as the man uses when he would destroy all possibility of reconciliation with the woman. The nervous arm, raised to enforce the language, in falling broke a link of the strong connecting wire looped along from column to column. The surging murmurs of the batteries, the whirl of the magnets, and the click of the heavy pendulums, ceased on the instant. He stopped in his way.

“‘I see,’ said he, ‘ that you, such as you are, have the advantage of me in self-command.’

“With a deep sigh he expelled the tumult from his breast.

“‘As easily,’ he continued, ‘ as I can repair the slight injury my foolish rage has inflicted upon this thread of metal, so easily can I mend the mischief you have brought upon me by your discovery.’

“When Bonsall uttered this threat I lost all fear. Contempt made me laugh.

“‘There was a time,’ he continued, ‘ when I loved you with a passion equal to my present hate.’

“‘Pray, Sir,’ I said, ‘ may I inquire the cause of this heroical hatred?’

“‘Is it nothing to have suffered, year after year, the pangs of incurable love, until every thought, every action was absorbed in that one grief? If the passion soured into hate-’

“‘I gave you no invitation to indulge such folly.’

“‘True, you gave none. Becoming daily more beautiful, more lovely; as the days were on, estranged more and more from your miserable husband—’

“‘Not a word of that, Sir! You were my accuser.’

“‘Yes, I own it. It was a crime—'

“‘Crime upon crime, Raymond. First, an unlawful passion; then treachery to a friend; then hatred of the object unlawfully loved; then futile conspiracy to defame, to rob. Do you call that love! Oh, fool!’

“‘It was not I who planned it; the wretch, Mohler, a mean, suspicious creature, cowardly, an intellect without a heart—it was he, Maria, who devised your ruin. He called on me to help him.’

“‘And you answered the call?’

“Bonsall was silent.

“‘There is no excuse. Your nature is evil.’

“'What you call love is an unholy passion that would sacrifice every thing to itself.’

“‘Would not the highest virtue do the same, Maria?’

“‘You are more subtle than I. Your subtlety of intellect has destroyed you.’

“‘Mixed motives. I loved you, nevertheless; ay, worshiped—that is the word; I love you still. Bid me die, and I will’

“‘Love!’

“‘Yes, deep, absolute. It was your silence, your avoidance, aversion, that ruined me. Now I can speak freely with you, and I no longer hate.’

“In every woman‘s heart (surely in mine) there is a degree of compassion and forgiveness for those who suffer by the effects of love. It is God’s will that it should be so; else all women would fly from men. Great as my abhorrence was—thoroughly as I despised the baseness of Raymond—an old secret preference, a long-suppressed feeling, crept up into my throat and choked me.

“‘Raymond,‘ I exclaimed, with an accent, I fear, not wholly harsh, ‘you have chosen a base and crooked path to the favor of a woman who was once proud to call you friend. During the last two of seven tedious years you item not acted the part even of a friend—much less-’

“‘It was the accursed silence,‘ he exclaimed, eagerly. ‘We should have been more honest.’

“‘We, Raymond?’

“‘Yes, we. You loved me once.’

“I had gone too far to recede. My courage rose. Prudery would have been cruel and absurd. Could I, then, terminate this long career of crime by a simple explanation?

“‘A word more,‘ I said, ‘before we end this conference—which, I hope, may save us both. Tell me for what purpose you conspired to deprive me of my fortune? That was the act, not of a despairing lover, but of an unprincipled sensualist. Why this complicated and cumbrous mass of conspiracy against me and mine?‘

“‘Judge me as you will,’ he answered. ‘I have told you all. I would have restored all that I had. taken from Mohler to you. I wished to lead you with obligations. See, here are all the evidences.’

“He opened a drawer of the desk, drew forth a package of papers, and placed them in my hand. I accepted the gift. It was prudent to do so.

“‘Destroy these papers,’ he continued, eagerly, ‘and the work of infamy is undone.‘

“‘I appreciate the motive, but how can I forget the crime?’

“‘By extending pardon to the criminal.’

“Oh! my friend, when the sun-rays of mercy spread over the soul their warm and tender light, are We to be blamed if we forget the strict laws of social propriety?

“‘Come near to me,’ I said.

“He came and stood before me, with down cast eyes.

“‘If I will forget the past, will you forget it? Will you leave me now forever, and let silence cover all?’

“‘Death—death! I could not outlive the separation. Though it must come, while I live let me live near youl’ he exclaimed, turning away, pale and convulsed.

“‘See,’ he said, taking up one end of the broken wire, ‘ this poor mechanism is like your favor: while the wires are united—that is, your good-will, your pity—it gives life, power, hope; the strong currents of the soul flow on, and the man is powerful, useful, happy. Without this he is only a self-corroding machine. Pardon me,’ he added, while a blush mantled his features, ‘if my long study of these magnetic laws has suggested an illustration that may seem mean and trivial to you; but the great laws work in souls as in matter. Give me, then, your favor, or—’

“He touched, as he spoke, the other depending piece of the broken wire. A murmurous sound arose from the batteries. The pent-up, concentrated lightnings rushed from the wires through his frame, and he fell dead like one who has dropped suddenly asleep.

“I went to him, and regarded for a time, in silent awe, the upturned face of the dead. All! what a terrible anguish is compassion! It is the grief of God. Kneeling by the side of Raymond Bonsall, slain by a sudden, unlooked-for vengeance—the work, inadvertent, of his own hand—all the past fled away, and I thought only of the ages of remorse that, in another world, would punish the repentant but malformed, misguided soul. The tears were falling freely from my eyes as I knelt by the dead, when I heard behind me a step that I knew to be Mohler's.

“As I arose I saw the sordid figure of the German chemist creeping behind. When he saw me, and at a glance divined the nature of the accident that had befallen Bonsall, he shrank away and fled. As for Mohler, he could hardly clear his sense sufficiently to comprehend the calamity that had fallen upon himself. His jaw dropped; he fumbled with his hands. I felt no pity for him—why, I can not tell.

“‘Maria! What has happened to Bonsall? How did you get in here? Oh! I suppose you understand all now ?’

“‘I do.’

“‘Bonsall is dead !’ he murmured. ‘ Yes, I see the wires are broken. Three thousand pairs of plates - it would kill an ox! You say you understand the affair. Hum! You have read the evidence against you in the book!”

“‘Enough to know that Bonsall, who lies here dead, is the author of these infamous conversations attributed to me.’

“‘How—how?’

“‘Voices above the mirror are recorded as well as those spoken beneath.’

“‘I never once thought of that !’

“‘You? You, then, are not an accomplice?’

“‘No,’ he said, hesitating, and placing his hand to his forehead, ‘ Indeed it troubles me much. Let us go to your room, Maria, and we will talk it over.’

“An insipid, futile smile played over his that area. The suddenness of the discovery how he had been duped by Bonsall—the probable loss, in one moment, of wife, honor, friend, all the springs of a good life—smote through and through, and wounded to death the poor brain. I led him away like a child. But why did I feel no pity—none, ever?

“Mohler‘s lunacy, as you know, was permanent. To the last moment his brain worked upon inventions.”

Two silver tears, moved gently from her large eyes by the remonstrance of a smile, coursed quietly down the checks of the beautiful narrator. Ah! soul full of great courage and compassion, it was with thee as with the king who did not change countenance when he saw his son led to execution, but wept grievously when a poor drunken bottle-companion went to his death.

It was a history known only to a few. I first have given it to the world. Under the names and dates I have assumed, a few only will recognize the real persons and events.

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Semyon Dyachkov - "A trip to the moon in a wonderful machine with a description of the countries there, customs and various rarities" (1844)

INTRODUCTION


translated from
https://fantlab.ru/autor47307

Semyon Petrovich Dyachkov (1800 [or 1809?] - after 1844) - poet and prose writer, author of populist moral and satirical tales for "common people." [Translators note: or "Lubok", see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lubok]

The son of a second lieutenant (then serving in the Mamadysh district court of the Kazan province), with a clerical background. He received his home education, and in 1826 he entered the literature department of Moscow University, two years later he moved to Kazan University, from which he graduated from the literature department in 1831 with the title of "Deystvítelnyy student", [Translators note: literally "real student", a lower degree, then the qualification title of a university graduate in the Russian Empire, introduced in 1819, falling out of favor in the 1835]. He began serving as provincial secretary in the Department of Railways, and in the same year he joined the Commissariat Department of the War Ministry. Over the next eight years, he changed places five times in different departments (mainly in St. Petersburg), but he could not stay anywhere for more than a year because of his strong addiction to wine.

He began to publish in 1827, when his compilation "History of the Roman Republic" was published. In the years 1827-28, Dyachkov was looking for "literary patrons"; apparently, therefore, "Ode to the solemn celebration of the bright Resurrection" came out with a dedication to Major General Count Kirill Ivanovich Gudovich. The first poetic book - "Rural Life" - was published in Moscow in 1828. Dyachkov was published more often in the second half of the 1830s: a collection of his poems "A Bouquet of Flowers, or Various Poems, Elegies, Songs for Beautiful Girls" was published in St. Petersburg in 1837, and the poem "Money" was published there in 1839.

In addition, Dyachkov published three tales in verse for the common people: "Poetic Tale of the Fool and the Treasure" (1836), "The Tale of the Found Diamond" (1840), "The Thief Cat: A funny story in verse" (1843). The plots of the "fairy tales" by Dyachkov, ridiculing harmful human passions, are simple: a rich fool has the reputation of being an intelligent person; a merchant is frightened by a cat who has climbed into the cupboard; a scientist - a loser and a poor man - thanks to the discovery of a wonderful diamond, marries a princess.

In his poems, Dyachkov admits adversity ("Talent, if it’s slightly dipped in wine, / In the poet, it seems to come to life again") and constantly touched this topic in his tales. In the last years of his life, he worked odd jobs, getting drunk more and more, and literature, apparently, was his main source of livelihood. Criticism labelled the works of Dyachkov as craft for the "popular market" and put his name on par with the popular writers A.A. Orlov and F.S. Kuzmichyov. Dyachkov’s work bore the traces of the well-known education and psychology of a "provincial poet," which could not even be held at the level he achieved in his youth.

The author is frequently confused with his namesake, born a little later, Dyachkov Semyon Dmitrievich (1827-1844) - historical writer, fiction writer and poet.

Bibliography:

1844 - A trip to the moon in a wonderful machine with a description of the countries there, customs and various rarities
1843 - The Thief Cat
1840 - The Tale of the Found Diamond
1839 - Money
1837 - To Nature
1836 - A poetic tale of a fool and treasure
1828 - Ode to the solemn celebration of the bright Resurrection
1828 - Rural Life

TRANSLATORS NOTE


This was translated from an unmodernized edition, presumably a scan of the original 1844 printing. The odd punctuation of the original remains in tact in the text. The original edition can be found here:

http://epizodsspace.airbase.ru/bibl/fant/dyachkov/dyachkov_na-lunu-1844.djvu

- Chrononauts translation office, July 5, 2020.
 

A TRIP TO THE MOON IN A WONDERFUL MACHINE WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE COUNTRIES THERE, CUSTOMS AND VARIOUS RARITIES (1844)


Printing allowed,

therefore, the permitted amount of copies of the printed submission herewith, was presented to the Censorship Committee, Moscow, October 6th, 1843.

Censor S. Barshve

---

It has been known for a long time that those Astronomical spyglasses have discovered mountains and seas on the moon, and therefore it has been concluded that the moon is of the same kind of land as this sublunar world - this gave me an idea to investigate: are there inhabitants of cities and other terrestrial objects on the moon? but since it was necessary to visit the moon for this, I began to think of the means to do this, and I found the best way was to invent and construct an air-pressure machine in which I could reach the moon; I thought for a long time about such a machine, and finally conceived a very intricate kind of cage; and instead of a wire, I put an elastic tube in it, filled with a particular gaseous essence that I created; for their lightness, I attached huge wings of cork-wood to the sides of the cage; the cage was divided in two by a wall; one half of it, for my seat, and on the other, I placed some tools, books (which I carried to the moon in order to show them there for their rarity, and they also might prove to be useful for other things, especially the Architectural and Economic parts), toiletries; as well as the most necessary things on the road - edible supplies; over the cage - in case of bad weather - a large umbrella was set up; on one side of the cage I arranged another small organ, both for myself, for boredom on the journey, and that I wanted to surprise the inhabitants of the moon with music of an earthly invention; I also hung several boxes with different birds in my air-machine, several crates and boxes with various rarities, so my cage, being completely ready, had a very funny appearance.

Soon after, having said goodbye to my acquaintances from my earthly dwelling, I unscrewed the taps of my cage's tubes and with the speed of lightning, I took to the air; when I reached the clouds and looked below, the earth already seemed like a single black mass; finally I was above the clouds; they struck me with their vastness and whiteness; flying even higher, I did not see them anymore, and they were rushing through the empty spaces in my machine; glancing up by chance, I saw a great deal of brilliant stars of a large size, and below them was a huge, pale light body; it was the moon itself and I thought that I would soon reach it, but I was cruelly deceived because, afterwards, I flew for about forty days; the night was tedious for me, even though my cage had lanterns, to illuminate the way; I will not say anything about my journey, because it was very monotonous; finally, to my delight, I saw I was nearing the moon, which seemed to be the same kind of land as that of the sublunar;  its soil was gray in color and covered with high mountains and forests, but the villages were not yet noticeable; I attached myself to one place, a very lively one, namely towards a wooded grove on the banks of one river: here I thanked the sky for a safe arrival to the moon; but as it was evening, the cage instead served me as a shelter for that night's lodging; with such consolation I thought; that finally my wish came true, my intention to survey the lunar objects was fulfilled; at nightfall, I was extremely amazed by the new physical phenomena in the air: multicolored lights appeared for an instant, which were composed in different shapes on the river, waves were surging in the form of pillars and afterwards they noisily collapsed; unusual sounds were heard in the forest; I did not understand where they came from, but finally, fatigue compelled me to fall asleep. The next day, waking up early, I was quite amazed by this wonderful phenomenon: the air was filled with a fragrant pink-colored mist; in this mist brilliant crystal needles were performing, and producing a wonderful effect; which soon dissipated, and I was splashed with beautiful flowers, shrubs, and trees, such merry locations not on the globe were beckoning me towards them; having breakfast, I decided to examine them and randomly went one way with a fishing line, I got out into a clearing and was struck by the view of a magnificent building, the only one in this calm harbor; it appeared to be some kind of monument, and in this I was not deceived, having learned afterwards from the lunar inhabitants, it was erected to one virtuous queen, who was distinguished by her glorious deeds; the exterior of this monument is very beautiful; it was all polished and decorated with unusual figures, carvings, arabesques and other ornaments. Having seen enough of these marvelous works of art, I went further and came out of the forest, and again saw a new wonder: a crystal city, from which the sun's rays produced an extraordinary brilliance; coming closer to it, I was completely sure that all the houses were made of crystal, probably because the moon had entire mountains of crystal, and as for stone, there was very little of it, and it was considered a jewel; and, as it was day, I could see through the crystal walls of the houses; but everywhere there was monotony and boredom; women were engaged in some kind of work or the manufacture of dishes; men were walking back and forth through the streets, forming crowds and chatting about something; there were no equipage or shops; I soon found out that there was no trade at all on the moon, because every one had their own allotted grain; it was not necessary to go to other countries for their products, because nature scattered throughout the moon the same abundance for them; there were no mills or factories on the moon, because every inhabitant made everything himself that was necessary for his daily routine; but some arts flourished there, for example Architecture was highly regarded; painting and music also; there was no money in circulation; I surprised the inhabitants there when I showed them the coins I had taken with me and other small items; looking around the Lunar city, I began to observe the customs of the Lunites, and here are some of them: in the morning, the landowner walks around their house, and then feeds the Natises [Translator note: Natis is the singular form], which are the only domestic animals that are eaten there; they have six legs, after feeding the animals, they then go to a public space and there the Lunites talk about how best to fish (because they are enamoured with fishing), which gear is better to use, how to make the Natises fat, and other unimportant subjects; after that they say goodbye in the same strange fashion they say hello, namely they will make a circle and the foreman will go around them, and hiting everyone with his passion, shouts: - "Egra" - and then dismisses everyone to go home; there the Lunites have lunch, which consists of cold dishes and fruit, called a ranbas [Translator note: Ranbas is also singular], which grow in abundance on small trees of a strange shape, they drink juice from these same fruits; they don’t have hot drinks, and I was a little sorry about this, as I sometimes liked to drink them out of boredom, but thanks to myself, it’s good that I stocked up on them on the road and they remained on the moon for a long time in my barrel - after lunch, the Lunites go to the forest to pick ranbasses, or to fish from the river, having brought their goods home, they go out in droves out of town for a walk; they sing there, and some dance, for which they are given ranbasses; their dance is very funny with their putting on terrible masks, which however give them great pleasure; in these dances there was a certain pantomime performance, they took place for quite some time, with different changes, and among other things, their dances are accompanied by musical sounds, quite pleasant, but too bassy, their instruments also produce different kinds of tones and forms; some amazing devices include; а box with stretched strings producing a rattling sound is especially surprising; a large twisted wooden pipe, producing a whistle and a squeal: a drum filled with crystal balls, which makes a rumbling and ringing; it turned out to be an amusing concert, after which the dance ended, everyone went home; finally dinner and peace. Here I mention one strange thing about the Lunites in relation to naming them; there are no proper names, such as Natalya, Semyon, etc., but they are given names according to the qualities of each, such as: Mr. Smart, Mr. Stupid, (they are not offended by this, because they love the truth, and though they try to better themselves in vain, they are given a name corresponding to this quality), Mr. Good, Mr. Nice-catch, Mr. Glutton, Mr. Silence, Mr. Self-righteous, Mr. Ranbaslover. Women are also called by their qualities: Ms. Gorgeous, Ms. Sly, Ms. Saucy, Ms. Nasty, Ms. Concise, Ms. Good, Ms. Affectionate, and others. Another oddity is a celebration at home: the owner gives a feast when he catches a lot of fish and collects many ranbasses; he puts up a long pole near his house with a fish hanging from it; then he takes a fife and sounds it, calling the guests in this manner; when they come, they stand in a row in front of the house and are given each a fish, after that they maneuver everyone in a queue at the door; there they usually are treated to lunch and dessert.

Now, I want to briefly mention some lunar objects and rarities of a particular sort; and the first thing is that neither gold nor silver are there, but there is a fossilized material of a blue color, very brilliant, used in houses for decoration; women dress up in materials woven thinly from some kind of reed; their headdress consists of a wreath of flowers and feathers; everyone travels on foot, except for the King and Queen, who are carried in the Arbor, since there is a drought on the moon and rain is very rare, when there is no water and the rain comes, there are pedestals with reservoirs, for which travelers are very grateful, and they themselves have hats for the same purpose, small tubs of thin wood are arranged at the top of them; when the rain comes, it fills them with water and a passerby can quench his thirst in an easy fashion.

In one building of the Lunar city, a famous hero's shield is shown, with its strange images, also a very wide sword and a spear of five fathoms. - In the same city there once lived one Author, whose works were respected by everyone, and therefore, upon his death, the house in which he lived remained uninhabited and was preserved, as a memory of a glorious man; in this house, with particular pleasure, I examined the different things in the cabinet and involuntarily ran into an impromptu verse:

How I am enjoying myself mentally
Looking at this office -
Through these things, I'm convinced
That the poet once lived in it.

[Translator's note: this rhymes in Russian with an ABAB scheme]

But according to the legend, the Author was engaged not only in prose and poetry, but also in other scientific and art subjects, such as: Mechanics, Physics, Technology, and even Alchemy, and at the end of his life he threw away everything and became a Philosopher, moving from his house to the forest in a secluded place where nature formed a crystal of enormous size and amazing shape: various fragments in the form of square rods emerged from it, and below there was an opening in the cave, in which the Philosopher settled, despite the boredom.

There remains to be said something about one more attraction on the moon, which I considered with great pleasure. It was a machine which was used to make every meal in kitchens of the rich; it was divided into several parts and in each, a special potion was placed; and after a few minutes, this machine produced soups, sauces, fried goods, and cakes; I previously said that poor people used cold meals, and therefore they did not need a machine that was so expensive; after having had a nice lunch with a Lunar Prince and resting, I got into my machine and flew back to the earth with a stockpile of valuables, after which I arrived home, I fell asleep firmly and crashed in my room; then I found out that everything I saw was a dream, but so entertaining that I conveyed it in this book of amiable stories; - I do not know if I succeeded in that.

END

Dmitry Sigov - "Journey to the Sun and the Planet Mercury" (1832), and "The Talk of Moscow Citizens about the Comet of 1832"

TRANSLATORS NOTE AND INTRODUCTION


Dmitry Ivanovich Sigov was an obscure writer and I'm not able to turn up much about his life, including birth or death dates. He lived in Moscow from 1830 to 1832, serving as a clerk at the Department of Mining and after 1837 lived in the Urals, where he worked at the Verkh-Isetsk metallurgical plant.

In addition to "Journey to the Sun and the Planet Mercury" (1832), which was initially published anonymously, and "The Talk of Moscow Citizens about the Comet of 1832", (1832) Sigov also wrote "Mental Revolution, or a War between Romanticism and Classicism" (1831), "Fashionable Education" (1830), "Morning Star" (1831), an anthology of Sigov's verse and prose, "Village Beauty" (1832), and "Count Lyubsky, or Love and coquetry: A Russian Romance Novel" (1832). In 1837, Sigov's novel "Raskolniki" was banned by the St. Petersburg censors for its depiction of incest, debauchery and fanaticism.

Biela's comet appeared in 1832, and the world was predicted to end in 1836. This refers to the German-learned writer Johann Heinrich Jung, who wrote under the pseudonym Heinrich Stilling (1740-1817, pronounced in German fashion of "shtilling" and rendered this phonetic way in the Russian text), was the author of several novels and works of religious-mystical persuasion, which were very popular in Europe and Russia, and in certain circles of mystics was considered a prophet. His extensive commentary on the Revelation of John ("The Victorious Tale, or The Triumph of the Christian Faith") was published in St. Petersburg in 1815. Jung-Stilling believed that in 1836 the battle with the Antichrist would take place in Central Asia; these eschatological expectations were directly or indirectly reflected in many phenomena of the Russian culture of the 1830s.

The only mentions in English language media of Sigov I can find, seem to be in Kornelia Boczkowska's dissertation "Space exploration in 20th century American and Soviet literature and art", which has propagated its way to Wikipedia.

Translating this was an interesting process. Despite the fact that as of this writing, I have a 600+ day streak on Duolingo, I am very much a beginner at Russian, so much of this is a dictionary based translation. It should be closer and much more readable than a machine translation, but of course, will be no substitute for that of a native speaker. This version was translated from a 2016 reprint from Salamandra P.V.V., which very much helpfully modernized the spelling of the text. As several letters were removed from the Russian alphabet after the Soviet revolution, 19th century texts are prone to use of archaic spellings and vocabularies, further compounding translation difficulty. Despite these issues, this should be more than readable enough, especially for a ten minute discussion on a podcast. My notes, as well as in-text footnotes, are included as [square brackets] with my notes specifically referenced as "translators note", all other notes are in-text.

The PVV reissue can be found here:
http://epizodsspace.airbase.ru/bibl/fant/sigov/puteshesnvie/sigov-puteshestvie-2016.pdf

and some biographical information:
https://www.livelib.ru/author/701476/top-dmitrij-ivanovich-sigov

- Chrononauts translation office, June 21, 2020

JOURNEY TO THE SUN AND THE PLANET MERCURY AND ALL THE VISIBLE AND INVISIBLE WORLDS (1832)

by Dmitry Sigov
 
Oh God Almighty! 

Give the wings of the Seraphim to mortal man 

To fly to you, the immortal!

The thinking soul is a realm, in which the mortal passions are excited. It is that vast and perfect chaos, which is born from the one powerful phrase: "let there be! ...." Everything, that controls mortals, man's entire life, and all of his perfection on earth - is the spirit that originates from the soul. Man cannot see the soul, but he experiences it through an inner feeling, as an ideal that has no material composition, and no outer form. Everything material and non-material, everything visible and invisible is subordinate to this ideal - the soul. And so the soul is that highest and perfect existence for man, which consists of life, feelings and thoughts.

The first stage of spiritual perfection is life and feeling, and the second and highest, thought, develops in the imagination, and ripens in the mind.

Just as a spark from flint produces a fiery blaze, so a spark of thought, cast into the imagination, illuminates and makes that immaterial ideal world available to mortals, which through the Almighty is destined for the highest, perfect and eternal bliss for the soul, with which the main purpose of earthly existence is to receive this blessed infinite being.

And so, imagination in the realm of the mind is nothing else but the main organ of its earthly existence. With the help of this imagination, a person gifted with great spiritual qualities, is open to everything in the visible and invisible, material and non-material, present and future worlds.

My kind and respectable readers! My lovely and sweet readers! Forgive me, as I have philosophized too much with romantic thoughts, and, likewise, my imagination has been carried off into the realm of a fantasy world! Indeed, my whole journey should be nothing more than a romantic dream, than a fantastic thought, carried away on the light wings of imagination into the chaos of an invisible world. And so humbly, please listen! But let me say one more thing: everything, that I don't write here, will become my own, without any hijacking from the Schellings and the Stutzmanns, whose pluckings and plunderings have already made their way into some kind of "fraternity", which has become thoroughly ridiculous in its aesthetics, phil[Translators note: Trails off as "fil" (ie - the first part of the word "philosophy")]... and so on. I'll leave this fraternity in peace to scream about that in the deserts of Russian Literature, as if a thinking soul might be sick! (See "The Rumor" No. 22, from 1832)! I'll leave those new Russian philosophers in peace, according to whom: every being is formed by external elements; elements are formed by life, and life formed by distinctive growth! (See. Telescope No. 2, 1832, p. 172 and 173—) [Translator note: See note in Scene I of "The Talk of Moscow Citizens about the Comet of 1832" for information on Telescope and The Rumor]. That is, in other words: absurdity constitutes absurdity, and foolishness breeds foolishness! But what do absurdities and foolishness come from? Of course, from the stupidity of a thinking soul! ....

Sorry, my esteemed male and female readers! I'm talking again! Ay, ay! Because our dear Literature is so delightful that it cannot be described in detail in any satirical novel, nor in any funny comedy and,[Footnote: Ah, sorry! There seems to be something about it in the novel: Count Lyubsky, written by Mr. Sigov, and in Comedies: The Evening Party of the Scientists and Writers Amongst Each Other, written by Mr. Zagoskin and Golovin.] because it has so many absurdities, it is necessary to copy them over several hundred years in time, have to a few hundred Censors review them, and for several thousand printing houses print them. Аbout readers and buyers, not a word: there are millions of them.

And so this very minute I begin my most famous journey! It will begin with the first word after the last period following this remark.

Five o'clock in the morning, according to a Norton’s pocket-watch, which are made in London, repaired in Paris, trusted in Moscow, and are purchased for their material constitution and immaterial quality, at one hundred guineas, which, in Russian, or Russian money, would amount to more than two thousand five hundred rubles! This watch must be correct! And so I got up, as I said above - at five in the morning. The sun had already risen very high on the bluish horizon, which we call the sky, the environment of all the blessings for Earth! As soon as I got up, washed and dressed, my friend Krylyshkin came to me at that minute. From the first step of his entry into my office, I heard from his fiery ever-verbal lips: "I congratulate you, my first friend, on the first day of the first year, after an unprecedented expectation, doomsday, from which they thought that not only the world would be destroyed, but also the Moon, the Sun, everything visible and invisible, and they, fortunately, remain wholly intact!" After those long congratulations, which, as one should guess by their meaning, were uttered at the spur of the moment, I involuntarily yawned, and silently showed a chair to my friend. He settled down calmly, and I, in order not to give his senseless fantasies a great bolstering in the chaos of smalltalk, began the following conversation with him:

— You know, my friend, that I am going to travel this very minute!
— Where?
— To the sun! And the planet Mercury.
— To the sun! What do you mean by this?
— Namely, that I am going to the Sun in order to inspect all visible and invisible, known and unknown worlds, planets, comets and so on, and so on and so forth.

At my last words, my friend stood up and said something quietly; and then turning to me, he said:

— Goodbye, sir! ... I... sir...

Upon exiting the door, I heard that he loudly said: "He is completely crazy! ... and what a pity: he was my first friend!" That's what his quick departure meant! I cried out with pleasure and surprise. He took me for a madman! ...

Oh, excuse me still, most respected readers! I'm going, I'm going, and everything is in place! ... But such was and will be the whole mortal race! We love only to promise soon, and to fulfill - everyone knows who promises a lot - after all, it is very difficult! ...

Hey! Antoshka! come here! ... "Right away!" the hoarse voice behind the door answers me. The valet enters. But imagine my surprise: he was already pretty much drunk! ... Why did he get drunk early? And because of the date, according to the Russian proverb: “He who is happy with the holiday is drunk even before the mass!” And this morning was definitely a holiday! ....

I'm going, I'm going! .... this very minute! .... Yawned once? .... another yawn! .... What, what is it! Oh! How high! ... Yes, I’m approaching the Sun! ... Ah, how hot it is! ... Indeed, the greatest heat! ... And I, believing the words of one Russian Physicist, thought that the Sun is nothing but a dark globe that does not have any fiery matter, and all its of fiery power is received from electric, chemical, and magnetic particles located in the airy sphere! ... But the Russian Physicist deceived me! Now I won’t believe him! ... Let's look at the earth! What a lovely view! ... All the Empires, all the Tsardoms, all the Kingdoms, as its called, like on a platter, under your feet! ... What is this high tower? - Ah! This is St. Petersburg, Berlin, Paris, London, Beijing, and more and more observatories! ... But these flies crawling on them, who are these? These are the men the people call scientists! What are they doing? They're catching the tail of Mercury, which has not been seen through a telescope for a long time! ... And people, maybe from these same scientists, yesterday morning were screaming out in the air, that this Mercury would destroy the earth, that is, it would be doomsday! Oh people, people! How stupid you are! ... Well, can you believe it after that? ...

Wait! ... I arrived! ... Here in the Sun! Let me look around! ... Oh my god! What is it! ... It seems that here it is neither warm nor cold, but I’m all burnt up, for I have no hands, no legs, no head, no body! ... One soul, one thought, one imagination with me and in me! ... That's what it feels like to travel to the Sun!

I’m going for a walk in the solar world. Listen, esteemed readers, to what I observed there!

My sight first came across a river of fire, scorching everything, but not burning anything. It flows like the rivers on the earth, but perpendicular to the surface, that is, like a pillar or a fountain, from which the falling sparks make up the solar rays; The black spots visible in the sun by earthly astronomers are nothing other than solar cities, which are so numerous that they have no count, no geography, no statistics! These cities are populated for the most part by creatures that exist forever, of which the type, image, and form resembles the ideas of the smartest of philosophers, such as, for example, even me! [Footnote: If someone does not lie, and that in the solar worlds there should be inhabitants, then I ask you to take a look at the Herald of Europe, published in 1810, No 6, pages 116-126.] All creatures of the solar world, or solar people, feed on manna brought to them by fiery winged birds. This manna, the locals say, is so pleasant that if it was tasted by an earthly person with a material body composition, they would swallow, as they say, their own tongue! The main occupation of the solar inhabitants is that they do not do anything! This is due to the fact that they, having no real days and nights, which we see on earth, venerate their fiery world for one majestic and magnificent holiday, which never had, and never will have an end, for centuries and centuries! How happy are the inhabitants of the Sun! But what was the matter? After all, people who live on earth can also live in the Sun, like me, a traveler... No, they don’t want to stock up on this life, not knowing its blissful benefits and not having time to think carefully about it! And rightly I am very sorry for these most respectable amphibious inhabitants who care so little about sunny life! Poor mankind! You still .... Shh! Hush! What is this? My god! What a sight! .... Where am I? What am I? Yes, Yes! In the Sun.... But what I saw, what I heard!... Oh, why, at this time, don't I have my earthly ears and eyes? However, this is nothing: I can retell everything without them! Listen, but only with attention! ..

I don’t know, I can’t remember whether I’ve gone, or whether I’ve rode, or whether I’ve flown, but only I saw the following: ... Yes! You thought that this time I will actually tell you what I saw and heard? Wouldn't it be interesting for the curious themselves to travel there! The path is very smooth, and therefore, hence, very slippery! ... But since I promised you, my esteemed readers, to say something about what I have seen and heard, I, even after a joke, will keep my word, for the solar inhabitants strictly forbid deceiving anyone, no matter what and no matter who.... Listen!

I flew around the solar world, on an airy, light, incorporeal chariot, so rich, so elegant, so magnificent that ... she, she, it was not in my power to describe her!... And so I flew, flew, flew, and suddenly I saw that in the airy, fiery clouds, several million exquisite geniuses were rushing past me, which are so beautiful, so gorgeous, so graceful, that I was completely melted away in astonishment. They sang some kind of melody, so charming that if only one of them had flown to the Earth and sang it, even in a quiet voice, then all the people of earth would abandon and forget, with admiration, all their material and non-material earthly troubles, and would have flown after them to their solar world! ... I wanted to fly after these geniuses, but one of them, flying up to me, said; “Remember, that you are still mortal, and therefore you have no right to partake in our pleasures! But if you swear to leave your land forever, maybe you can be selected for our choir?" I was silent, and just like that, they all disappeared! .. I was very sorry that I could not take the vows, but remembering my duty as a traveler, I flew to where my winged chariot carried me.

After a few moments I flew up to the sea of fire, which stood undulating and had such a brilliant surface, that it exceeded all the diamonds I've seen on earth, millions of times over. I looked into this sea, and, to my great surprise, saw the following in it: the Moon, the stars, and all visible and invisible, the known and unknown comets and planets, seen and presumed by our terrestrial Astronomers. The moon seemed to me a great, enormous, beautiful sphere, whose radiance reflected in the sea of fire as majestically as the sun's rays on the globe. In the sea, it was apparently very shallow, and therefore I could conveniently examine everything in it. The black spots on the moon seen by earthly astronomers, and are revered from the mountains and forests, are nothing other than its magnificent and beautiful cities, inhabited by people who were probably brought here by the global flood, or who came by the greatest pillar of Babylon. All of them resembled each other and were of the most beautiful appearance, but to my surprise, like all the solar inhabitants, they did not have an external form, no material composition, or what we on earth call a body. Their activities and way of life are unknown to me, for I was not in their party, but saw only them from the side; but evidently, as a mortal's imagination may suggest, they also seem to be idling, like their neighbors, the sun's inhabitants. The stars, visible from the earth, are nothing but the bright islands on this shining sea. They also have inhabitants, but they are in all respects similar to those of the Moon, and therefore I'll leave their detailed description here. The comets and planets, visible and invisible, known and imagined by terrestrial Astronomers, I regard as the shining fish of this sea of fire, which has an immaterial composition and a wonderful, amazing outer form. Some of them, having wings and tails, we call comets; while others with only wings are planets. The former, apparently, should be more than the latter; but only the latter are instead much greater than the former. I began to examine the comets, of which many I saw even from the earth; among them is that terrible and great comet for the earth, which in 1812 was seen with its magnificent, charming tail, from which they expected, in the present year, and which will wait and wait until 1836 for the destruction of the earth, that is, doomsday. [Footnote: See "The Talk of Moscow Citizens about the Comet of 1832", published by D. I. Sigov, 1832.] I will not say a word about the other comets I have noticed here, because they sometimes also travel over the terrestrial Sphere, but never making any impression on the earthly inhabitants, and are even often seen by the all-seeing sharp-eyed eyes of our learned and clever Astronomers. Now I turn to the planets. But in order to get to know them better, this very second I’m going to visit them, that is, I’m flying through the sea of fire ...

"Hello, dear Mercury! Are you all in good health, after yesterday’s journey through our terrestrial Sphere? ... And it’s very unfortunate that you didn’t come to visit me: I would treat you with all the blessings of the earth!" These were my first words, said in earshot to all the living beings on the planet Mercury. I flew up to one Genius, an animated, incorporeal creature, a resident of the ever beautiful and always terrible land of Mercury, and I began the following conversation with him:

Me. Have I bothered you with my visit?

Genius. I beg your pardon! We are very glad to see you! ...

Me. And so let me ask you about something!

Genius. Please do! I will answer all with pleasure!

Me. I would like to know: what is it that you do?

Genius. Nothing!

Me. What do you feed upon?

Genius. Nothing!

Me. Goodness! But how do you survive? ... I ask you to explain this to me?

Genius. We are the goal of perfection - everything and nothing! This is a secret that is not clear to mortals until that happy moment in which he moves to us for eternal life ....

Me. How! Will not I, too, someday enjoy your blissful life?

Genius. You will be! But only when you completely leave your earthly dwelling, with certain conditions !

Me. What are these conditions?

Genius. The conditions are the easiest and are known to every mortal living on earth! ...

Me. I don't understand you!

Genius. Understand when you return to earth and remember my conversation with you! ...

Me. But at least explain to me: how were you born, and who are your parents?

Genius. You should not know my birth now, for you will know it when you move to our eternal dwelling. My parents, or parent, are our mutual Almighty Creator.

Me. Tell me, at least, who commands you?

Genius. We are commanded by the One who created everything. However, we are all equal. This equality is the greatest blessing for all living, but only you, earthly inhabitants, do not know how to use it ....

Me. Oh! I envy your happiest life! ...

Genius. Do not envy! Envy gives birth to the sin that makes mortals living on earth lose our blissful life! ...

Me. But tell me: can I soon be a resident in your world?

Genius. This I do not know: it depends on the One who commands all!

Me. Ah, what a pity that you don’t know this! ... But tell me at least something, for what reason did you travel around the sphere of our earthly planet yesterday?

Genius. We took a stroll! ... But even this was done at the will of the One who rules everything.

Me. Do you often take such strolls?

Genius. As often and rarely, that is, as the Lord commands.

Me. Ah, what a great fear you have caused the earth's inhabitants with your walk yesterday! ...

Genius. Can you be only one of the stupid earthlings who were scared of our stroll?!... However, а mind, which is not subject to reason can also produce stupid thoughts.

Me. Let me ask you another question: the other planets, visible to me here, do they have inhabitants like you, and can they also stroll around our earthly sphere, like your stroll yesterday?

Genius. All the planets you see here are inhabited by creatures like me, and everyone can, and even must, stroll around your earthly sphere, only your Astronomers cannot notice them all: for all their astronomical wisdom, they don't know anything!...

Me. Therefore, they cannot even foresee, with the help of their Astronomy, when your planet Mercury will collide with our planet - the earth, and hence cause total destruction, that is, doomsday?

Genius. My God! ... You surprise me with such a question! ... However, I ask you to assure your Astronomers and all the prophets that they are very ridiculous and pathetic when they want to foresee the unknowable! ... It all depends on the One who created everything and commands everything.

Me. I believe your words .... But the future fate with the earth brings involuntary fear and awe on all its inhabitants! ...

Genius. Remember the words: “Believe it, but do not tempt it!"

With these last words, the Genius, who was just talking to me, disappeared, and I already saw myself flying to the ground. Again, such a magnificent sight appeared! .... Before me, and under me, all the offices of the European, Asian, African, American and East Indian scientists, as well as Nobles, Princes, Counts and other brethren, were opened up to me. I also looked at their living rooms, halls, kitchens and wine cellars, and so on, and so on, and so on ... And I wanted to describe the different wonders that I saw in their offices, but I leave this for the absurd Magazines and Newspapers on earth to describe.

Suddenly, I looked into a living room and saw the following: Three persons of the female persuasion were sitting on an extravagant couch: one, a Princess, another, a Countess, and the third, a Boyarina, or an otherwise High Lady. In armchairs sat: one, a Prince, another, a Count, and the third, a Boyarin, or a gentleman with the famous title - Your Excellency. They all in turn said the following:

Princess. Well, what, Prince, can you say about yesterday's terrible planet - Mercury?

Prince. Nothing, Your Grace! ... Mercury has come Mercurially! ...

Countess. Ah, Prince, how indifferently you judge this terrible Mercury ! ... After all, it will soon again rumble to the ground, and then what was expected yesterday will come true ....

Count. Yes, yes, they're already writing about this in the St. Petersburg papers! ... It’s printed here that we will still see the famous comet Enke, which will appear on our planet on: May 3, June 24, September 27 and October 8 of this year.

Boyarina. Yes, yes, Your Grace! ... This is the real truth! ... Moreover, look at what is printed in the "Rainbow" about these comets - yes, only just jokes! [Footnote: See: "Rainbow", Magazine, published in Revel, No. 3, 1832, pages. 137-154]

Boyarin. They claim that all of our Astronomy, the oldest and most recent, is utter nonsense !.

I could no longer hear the end of the conversation: calmly and happily I went down to my dear study .... Consequently, my journey to the Sun, and the comet and planet, and the completely visible and invisible worlds has hereby ended .... And so:

On the light wings of imagination,
I traveled to the world of all-oblivion!...

--

Now it remains to warn the most respectable and most gracious readers, the most charming and dear readers, that this little essay is the easy and ingenious work of a famous Russian writer who, out of modesty, wants to hide his last name in the letter: S. He also dares to warn that this composition will be sold very expensively, because it, in his opinion, has a lot of very different, new thoughts, and therefore it is because of this, that it is foreseen that:

The kind Russian people
Will supply an income!

END

THE TALK OF MOSCOW CITIZENS ABOUT THE COMET OF 1832 (1832)

by Dmitry Sigov

SCENE I.


THE OFFICE OF COUNT VSEZNAEVA [Translators note: Count is literally "Knyaz", a historical Slavic nobility title. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knyaz for further information. Vseznaeva is a play on "all-knowing" (vse znaeva) or "know-it-all"]

THE COUNT IS SITTING IN A CHAIR AND SMOKING TOBACCO; AT SOME DISTANCE FROM THE DESK A PERSON IN THEIR ELDER YEARS, WEARING GLASSES, IS SITTING AND LOOKING AT THE PAPER AND BOOKS LYING ON THE DESK.

Count. Well, Oslinsky, what do you think about the current comet? [Translator note: "Oslinsky" is a form of the word "donkey/jackass" (osiel) as a surname]

Oslinsky (silent, looking at the land map, as if not hearing the Count).

Count. Eh, eh friend! Yes, you are very busy looking at the land map! ... Look, don't get carried away with ideas to travel around it, like Veltman! [Translator note: Presumably Aleksandr Veltman, a prominent contemporary fantastika author]
 
Oslinsky (startled). What kind of journey are you talking about, Your Grace?

Count (laughing). About yours - on the geographical map! ...

Oslinsky (again beginning to look at the land map). You joke, Count! ...

Count. Listen, Oslinsky! I ask you, what do you think about the current comet?

Oslinsky. About the comet? I think, Your Grace, looking at this land map that it is now a guest in the Chinese Empire!

Count. Ha, ha, ha! Indeed?

Oslinsky. Certainly! .. Have you, Count, really forgotten what you wrote about last year, that some city in China had allegedly collapsed?

Count. I remember! What can you deduce from this?

Oslinsky. So, this city, in my opinion, collapsed not because of any other factors, but simply because the comet, which is now visiting us, hit it with its tail, and it was sent on a journey to the underworld!

Count (laughs). Are you out of your mind, Oslinsky? ... Ha, ha, ha! .. Ha, ha, ha! ..

Oslinsky. Why are you laughing, Your Grace? I could provide you with the evidence for this even, if I found where this city was on this map, which degree it stands under, I could then determine its height above the sea.

Count. Nonsense, sir, you're spinning nonsense! Well, can it be believed that the comet has any influence on our earth?

Oslinsky (getting up from his seat). What! Do you believe, Count, that the comet has no influence on our earth?

Count. Yes, I don't believe it, and am even laughing at you, are you so superstitious?

Oslinsky. At my superstitions? - (Sitting in an armchair, aside.) The devil take it, Your Grace. (To the Count.) But if I prove to you, Count, my theory, then what will you say?

Count (getting up, and walking around the room). But I know beforehand that your proof will be utterly hilarious nonsense! ...

Oslinsky (looking at the Count). But who do you take me for, Your Grace?

Count. Of course, for my friend, whose superstition I laugh at from my pure heart?

Oslinsky. Count! Remember that I was once a scientist? ..

Count. I know, I know, my friend? .. But it’s very strange for me to see you so superstitious that ... ha, ha, ha! ... you think ... ha, ha, ha! ...

Oslinsky. Yes! I think, I foresee, I already know, that a comet ......

Count (interrupts). Silence, do me a favor, and don’t embarrass yourself any further! .. It’s quite obvious already that, having learned a a lot, a very great deal, you know nothing, being so superstitious ....

Oslinsky (jumping up and shouting). Count, know this, I can prove to you astronomically, geographically, statistically, physically and politically, what this comet means, and for all this, you call me superstitious! ...

Zvezdochetov (entering). [Translators note: Surname form of "stargazer/astrologer" (zvezdochet)] What is all this racket in here, Your Grace?

Count. Bah! My friend: actually, that reminds me! ... Are you in good health?

Zvezdochetov. (sitting on the sofa). Thank God! But, it seems that you are arguing about something?

Count. Yes, yes, and we hope that you will reconcile us!

Zvezdochetov. What's the matter? Is it about the comet?

Count. You guessed it!

Oslinsky. Listen! His Grace does not want to believe that the comet, which has already destroyed several cities in the Chinese Empire, has now come to Russia and could touch her land with its tail!

Zvezdochetov. But what comet are you talking about: the current one, or the future one of 1835?

Oslinsky. Of course, about the current one, which will have a tail - of a thousand miles!

Count (laughing).

Zvezdochetov. Ha, ha, ha! .. But who told you that the current comet will come with a tail?

Oslinsky. What, who said? Yes, I read it myself with my own eyes - it was printed in The European, in the Moscow News and in The Rumor! [Translators note: The European was a journal of science and literature founded in 1832, and ran for two issues before it was banned by censors. Moscow News was a newspaper which was founded in 1756 by Moscow University, and ran until it was closed by the Bolsheviks on November 9th, 1917, two days after the October Revolution. The Rumor was a literature newspaper that from 1831-36 ran as a supplement to Telescope, another literature journal.]

Zvezdochetov. I'm sorry that you're barely literate in Russian!

Oslinsky. What? Why?

Zvezdochetov (laughing). Because in these very publications, it was also printed that the comet appearing this year will be without a tail, no traces ...

Oslinsky. What! Without a tail? You're lying, sir, you're lying! ... (Aside). They are both utter fools! (Leaving the office, singing):

[Translator note: ABABCCDDEE rhyme scheme in Russian]

You unintentionally speak with fools!
One of them will probably say:
After all, I believe in Astronomy
(And what is wise - because it will prove)
What is a comet exactly without a tail!
And to recognize that everyone is simple! -
I'll go and divulge
And even in the Bee I will write: [Translators note: The Northern Bee was a St. Petersburg political and literary newspaper published between 1825 and 1864]
That it is terrible
And dangerous for the earth!

(He leaves. The count is already strongly laughing at the entire continuation of his conversation.)

SCENE II.

COUNTESS RAZSUDIKHINOI'S LIVING ROOM [Translator note: Razsudikhinoi play on "Rational"]

THE COUNTESS, AN ELDERLY WOMAN OF SEVENTY, IS SITTING ON THE SOFA; A DESK WITH BOOKS AND NEWSPAPERS IS IN FRONT OF HER. BY THE WINDOW, ON A CHAIR, IS SITTING A YOUNG NOBLEWOMAN, THE GRANDDAUGHTER OF THE COUNTESS, WHO IS READING THE RUMOR. BY ANOTHER WINDOW, ELDERLY PEOPLE ARE SITTING IN ARMCHAIRS AND DOZING. [Translators Note: See note from previous scene regarding newspapers/periodicals. The rank of countess is literally "knyaginya" (the female equivalent of "Knyaz" from the previous scene) and her granddaughter is "knyazhna", both titles, which is how their characters are printed in the text. As children of English nobility often do not bear titles distinct from their parents, this doesn't necessarily translate 1:1 in English, so for the sake of readability and cutting down confusion, we'll refer to her as the Countess' Granddaughter to avoid giving them conflicting ranks (Duchess/Countess/Princess/etc)]

Countess, (taking snuff). Oh, ho, ho! ... The end times! ...

Dremotin (hearing the words of the Countess, but not understanding their meaning). Yes, Your Grace! ... [Translator note: "Dremotin" is a surname form of the Russian word "nap/slumber" (dremota)]

Countess (to her granddaughter). And when is the comet coming to Russia?

Countess' Granddaughter (with surprise). To Russia?

Countess. Yes, yes, to Russia! After all, it has been in China for a while!

Dremotin (not understanding the meaning of the words). Yes, yes, in China, Your Grace! ...

Countess' Granddaughter. This moron is still trying to figure it out! (To the Countess). Have mercy! What are you saying, Your Grace?

Countess (taking snuff). I say, that this comet, which is swinging its tail, and is now destroying the Chinese Empire, will it come to us soon?

Countess' Granddaughter. Will it come to us? Yes, in general, it's already breathing over the entire earth!-

Dremotin (not understanding the meaning of the words.) Yes, yes, in general, Your Grace!...  

Countess. How is it all over the earth? But why didn’t we yet see its tail?

Countess' Granddaughter. Yes, and you will not, Your Grace!

Countess. I won't! There will be no tail? Nonsense, ma'am!..  Who did you hear this from?

Countess' Granddaughter.  I read about this, Your Grace, in this issue of The Rumor!

Countess. What! And The Rumor has already published about it?

Countess' Granddaughter. Yes, Your Grace!

Dremotin. Yes, yes, Your Grace!

Countess. Read it to me!

Countess' Granddaughter (approaching the Countess). Listen, Your Grace! The current comet, called Enke, "making its way in almost three and a half years, which in the coming month of May, will pass through the point closest in distance to the sun, or through the perihelion. If this celestial body was visible from its greatest distance from the sun, then, having lost the title of 'comet', it would have entered the number of planets in our solar system. And so, only the astronomers should be concerned with the expected comet this year, and all other earthlings can be completely unconcerned with it, even moreso because it cannot be seen with the naked eye." - And so, now, believe, Your Grace, that we will not only not see the tail of this comet, which it does not even have, but we will not even see the comet itself.

Countess (snatching The Rumor from her granddaughter). Nonsense, madam, this is all nonsense! .. And who wrote this nonsense?

Countess' Granddaughter. Yes, it was written by our famous astronomer ....

Dremotin (not understanding the words). Yes, yes, the astronomer, Your Grace ...

Countess (to Dremotin). Yes, and you, Stepan Stepanovich, you're also claiming this?

Dremotin (shuddering and getting up from his seat). Yes, yes Your Grace!... (approaching the Countess). But what, Mother, were we talking about again?

Countess. Did you really not hear, that my granddaughter deigns to assert to me this nonsense printed in The Rumor?

Dremotin. In The Rumor? — Oh, Your Grace, is it possible to believe anything in that empty Rumor? it bears nonsense, utter nonsense! But what do you wish to dispute, Your Grace?

Countess. Yes, about that, my friend, that my granddaughter ventures to prove to me, that if, a comet came to us from China without a tail, we wouldn't be able to see it!

Dremotin. What? We won't see the comet? Won't we see Mercury?

Countess. Yes, yes!...

Dremotin (to the Countess' Granddaughter). Nonsense, nonsense, Your Grace, it is printed! ... We will see it at noon on the twenty-third of April!

Oslinsky (entering). What, what is the twenty-third of April? (bowing to the Countess and Countess' Granddaughter). I have the pleasure of seeing you, Radiant Countess, healthy and cheerful! (approaches the Countess and kisses her hand).

Countess. By the way!... We ask you to resolve our dispute....

Oslinsky (interrupting). Not about the comet, Your Grace?

Countess. Yes, yes, about the comet!

Oslinsky. Indeed!...   And I deliberately stopped by Your Grace, to tell you what I heard about this comet, that it was already coming towards us, towards Russia from China, and beautifully maneuvering with its huge, grand, shining tail, which is so big, so big that it will be visible throughout all of Europe!

Countess' Granddaughter (aside). And hence, I already have nothing more to say here and no further need for anything else!

(exiting the living room and singing):

[Translators note: Rhyme scheme ABABCDCD]

We are now in the habit
To call utter nonsense truth,
And he, who is in great reverence
Is the master to disclose it!
And I marvel, marvel very much,
Like my grandmother the Countess
Judging everything so harshly until now,
Nonsense listens and - the mouth opens!

SCENE III.

BUSINESS DISTRICT.

A FEW MERCHANTS ARE STANDING ABOUT ONE GRAY MAN, WHO IS SITTING ON A BENCH AT HIS STORE.

Traktutin, (a merchant of about sixty). [Translators Note: the surname form of "to interpret" (traktovat))] Yes, merciful sovereigns, no matter how much you talk or judge, do not argue, and what will be, my friends, which can't be avoided! God's will! ...

Bulbulkin (a merchant, forty years of age). [Translators note: Surname form of "bubbling", as in emitting a liquidy sound, from "bulkat"] Absolute truth, my father! what cannot be avoided! ... But God also ordered to dare - to have a judgment about everything! So you see here, I’ll tell you, that, in my opinion, this comet we are talking about, is none other than the last heavenly punishment on our sinful earth!

Trusovatov, (merchant of about sixty). [Translators note: Surname form of "cowardly" (truslivo)] Yes, yes, most respectable, and I also think the same! Yes, it seems that Stilling wrote about this a long time ago?

Suyeverov, (merchant, fifty years old). [Translators note: Surname form of "superstition" (suyeveriye)] Exactly! I have this, and there's the book. But apparently Stilling was mistaken in his calculations: he wrote that it was supposed to be in 1836!

Neznaev, (a shopkeeper). [Translators note: "ne znaev", or "not knowing"] Yes, because his calculations were according to the new arithmetic - in other words, use Stilling's calculations with the Julian calendar, so to our reckoning it will be alright! ... [Translators note: Russia did not adopt the Gregorian calendar until after the Revolution, in 1918]

Traktutin. No, my friends, do not believe these fools - your Stilling: they all write and print only nonsense! .. The will of God is in everything! ...

Bulbulkin. Have mercy, Vlas Samsonovich! We must always believe everything printed, for it is nothing but the fruit of wisdom!

Traktutin. Goodness, this wisdom! Look at what is printed these days in the Moscow News!

Bulbulkin. What is it? Does the news of a comet seem surprising to you?

Suyeverov. Already nothing to say! Such a surprise that your ears wilt!

Traktutin. And they dared to convince us that we won’t even see a comet! ..

Trusovatov. Yes, it is true, on the one hand: when it rolls up, you will leisurely look at it! ...

Bulbulkin. Ah you, my friends! you seem like smart people, but say such nonsense! ...

Traktutin. How is it nonsense! and how can you believe the Moscow News already?

Bulbulkin. Yes, naturally! after all, according to you, this nonsense was written by one intelligent and scholarly Astronomer, from which no celestial starlet will hide!

Neznaev. One can see he's really smart if he knows all the stars!

Trusovatov. Ah, it is a pity that you did not ask your Astronomer if he himself had flown into the sky on the carpet of a flying machine, in order to count all the stars and comets there?

Bulbulkin. Jokes aside, gentlemen! But I can assure you that the comet coming this year is not at all dangerous for the earth, in addition, it will make a lot of work for one Astronomer!

Suyeverov. I beg your pardon! How is it not dangerous for the earth? Yes, my clerk writes to me from Kyakhta that this comet is already waving its huge tail in China, so much that even several cities have collapsed!

Traktutin. How! Indeed? - But my jackass doesn’t write anything to me?

Trusovatov. He, perhaps, did not dare to frighten you with it .....!

Traktutin. Ah, he’s a deadbeat! ...

Bulbulkin. But do not get excited, Vlas Samsonovich! After all, this is all nonsense, and your clerk is probably smarter than the clerk Elistrat Eftigneevich!
 
Traktutin. How is it nonsense? What else do you need explained, father! (to Suyeverov). But doesn’t my father write that this tail is not visible from Kyakhta??
 
Suyeverov. No, not a word about it yet.!

Trusovatov, (to Bulbulkin). But aren’t you ashamed to say that this is nonsense! Dammit!...  

Bulbulkin (angrily). Yes, you might not know this, old rat! How can you judge a comet, when you know so little of what is right under your very nose, even! ... 

Traktutin. Hush, hush, gentlemen, we’ve been scolded! After all, it seems there is nothing amiss?

Bulbulkin. As if it's nothing, Vlas Samsonovich, when this insignificant creature dared to defame me like that! ...

Traktutin. But I ask you to be quiet, gentlemen! Here comes, rightly, to me, my friend Oslinsky, who, being a very learned person from the seminaries, can reconcile our views on the comet!

Oslinsky (approaching, bows to Traktutin and shakes his hand). Are you in good health, Vlas Samsonovich?

Traktutin. A little bit, a little bit, my dear?...

Oslinsky. Well, what's new with you?

Traktutin. Such news we have, my esteemed one! I think you'll have a great deal of news: you are scientific people, smart and always living in a greater light!

Oslinsky (smiling). Yes, yes, that's true!... 

Traktutin. Well, our father, have you heard anything about the comet?   

Oslinsky. About the comet? Yes, and you're already talking about it?

Traktutin. How then, how then, my dear, can one not talk that way about this kind of incredible and unprecedented miracle!

Oslinsky. But what, for example, are you saying about it?

Traktutin. Yes, we have different opinions, my father! Some say that it will be with a tail, some say it is without a tail, and there are freethinkers like that (glancing at Bulbulkin), who say that we won’t see it at all! ..

Oslinsky. What! We won’t see the comets? Nonsense, sir, nonsense, sir! And who dares to assert this, is the stupidest of people!

Traktutin. So in your opinion it will come, and we will see it? You people are scientists, you know everything.!.. 

Oslinsky (adjusting his glasses). Yes, yes, how can we not know such trifles! .. And I can assure you that the comet will certainly arrive, and - very soon?

Traktutin. And with the tail, our father?

Oslinsky. Of course with a tail! If it were without a tail, it would not be called a comet, but simply would be called a planet! .. Moreover, note that its tail, as they say in Chinese newspapers, extends several thousand miles, and when it enters Russia, then it will be visible throughout Europe and Africa!...

Bulbulkin (aside). Oh! For what reason do I have ears to hear this nonsense of a learned donkey! (exits towards his shop, and sings:)

[Translator note: Rhyme scheme is ABBACDDC]

Ay, ay, the most learned people!
Wearing glasses on their nose
Judging all without fear,
Without thinking that everyone is lying! ...
And our brethren are merchants,
Not understanding nonsense words
These stupid donkeys have
The essence of real fools! (bis.)

[Translator note: "(bis.)" appears in the text in Latin script]

SCENE IV.

A ROOM IN THE HOUSE OF THE MERCHANT SUYEVEROV.

SUYEVEROV'S TWENTY YEAR OLD SON IS SITTING AT A TABLE AND READING A BOOK. AT ANOTHER TABLE, HIS FIFTY-YEAR-OLD MOTHER IS SITTING, AND ON THE SOFA IS SITTING HIS EIGHTY-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER.

Grandmother. Well, what did you find, Nikolinka, is this the prediction of Mr. Stilling?

Nikolinka. Find, granny! He writes that it should be in the eighteen hundred and thirty-sixth year!

Mother. He might have made a mistake with the calendar!

Grandmother (shaking her head). Oh! We are sinners, sinners!....

Nikolinka (stops reading the book). Why are you, my friend, so worried - after all, the comet is not very dangerous for the earth!

Grandmother. How is it not dangerous? How is it not dangerous?.... But what can I say to you: you people are young and you know very little still!

Nikolinka. Ack, grandmother! You offend me by saying that we young people have little knowledge! (rising) Have you already forgotten that I have studied, and, having passed my exams, I can say without shame that I (turning to the mirror and looking at himself) already mean something in society! ...

Grandmother (sighs). Oh, you young people, young people! ... we sinners have sinned!

Mother. Mom! Don't worry about it! You're upsetting your health!

Nikolinka (approaching his grandmother). But did you hear, grandmother, what was written about the comet in the Moscow News?

Grandmother. No, I have not heard! And what does it say?

Nikolinka. Because, what they believe, is that we will not see these comets.

Mother. How will we not see them? Yes, it is already visible in China and Kyakhta!

Grandmother. Yes, yes, and Elistrat Eftigneevich said that he had received word about this from Kyakhta!

Nikolinka. Do not believe this nonsense letter! Remember that our clerk, who lives in Kyakhta, is very stupid and, besides all that, a drunkard, and is it surprising that he wrote this nonsense about the comet, from the words of some tavern servant?

Mother. What! and you don’t believe that the comet is visible in China? - Yes, all of Moscow is already sure of this, and some even argue that the comet still has a tail, from which several cities in the Chinese Empire have already collapsed!

Nikolinka. Ha, ha, ha! ... The comet has a tail! ... Ha, ha, ha! ... Ha, ha, ha!...

Suyeverov (entering). What's this noise?

Nikolinka. Tell me, daddy, is it possible to resist laughing while listening to my mother and grandmother, who want to convince me that, according to them, a comet with a tail is coming to us from China ...

Suyeverov. Yes, yes, with a tail! .. Why are you laughing?

Nikolinka. And you believe this?

Suyeverov. Of course! But how can you not believe it when such a respectable and learned person affirms and proves it!...  

Nikolinka. And who would, for example?

Suyeverov. Yes, after all, you know Oslinsky?

Nikolinka. I know, sir! (aside). How does one not know this fool!...

Suyeverov. He assured us today, and in the clearest way proved to us that the comet coming from China is the most terrible thing for our land, and its tail is so great that it can't be measured! Furthermore, he says that because of this comet people will become beasts, and beasts will become fish, and fish will become birds, and birds - will be God knows what!...

Nikolinka (aside). I have no patience to listen further! (running out of the room and singing):

[Translator note: Rhyme scheme ABABCDDEEC]

When Oslinsky publicizes
About nonsense, what truth
That all of Moscow will learn
About this great news!
It always has an entrance:
And into the drawing room of the Countess,
And to the restroom of the Earl,
And in the shop to the Merchant,
And in the cabinet of the Sage,
And - to the Nobleman sometimes!

SCENE V.

BOOKSHOP.

THE BOOKSELLER, HIS CLERK AND A CUSTOMER.

Customer (entering). And what, Father, don't you have any booklets about the current comet?

Bookseller. No, no!

Customer. Ah, what a shame! And one would be quite in demand!

Clerk. Yes, sir, about which sort of comets do you need? Is it not found in Astronomy?

Customer. And what is astronomy?

Clerk. Astronomy is the book, sir, which describes the science of recognizing all comets, planets, stars, and so forth.

Customer. I think, might it contain a little written about the current comet, which is in China, waving its tail and already coming to us, in Russia?

Clerk (presenting a book). Well, it should!...

Customer (looking at the book). Good! What about the price?

Clerk. Ten rubles, sir, firm!

Customer. But do you not have the book ... ah, the name, I forgot it! ..: the work of Stilling, who wrote what will happen in 1836, and his interpretation of the Apocalypse!

Bookseller. Yes, yes, sir!

Clerk (presenting a book). If you please, sir! Is this it, sir?

Customer. This, this is the one! ... And the price?

Bookseller. It is now priced at fifty rubles!

Customer. Ah, how expensive! ..  I think maybe we could do a bit lower?

Bookseller. The book is very rare, and besides my shop you will not find anyone who has it!

Customer. But tell me! if you don’t have a book about this specific comet, which is now everywhere, they say, how are they spreading rumors about it? [Translators note: "Spreading rumors" is literally "blowing the trumpet". I thought "sounding the horn" was an equivalent idiom in English but I can't find anyone actually using this phrase that way so maybe I just made it up. Feel free to substitute as you see fit.]

Bookseller. Maybe it there will be one, and then we will announce it in the newspapers!

Customer. And so, what is the final price for both those books?

Bookseller. So we don't haggle: sixty rubles!

Customer. Ah, very expensive! .... Is it possible to take forty rubles?

Bookseller (wrapping the books up). From you only, my friend, I'll take fifty rubles!...  

Customer (taking out the money). Nothing else to do - I have to pay it! The books, it seems, are good!...  

Bookseller. Excellent books, sir, excellent!

Clerk. After all, the most curious and rare, sir!

Customer (giving the money and taking the books). However, I hope that you will have a book specifically about the current comet!. 

Bookseller. Maybe, sir, maybe! ... Then we'll humbly ask you to visit us for it!...  

Customer. Good! Good! ... And so goodbye! (exits).

Bookseller. Goodbye!.... (to himself). Really, I should go to Myslinsky [Translators note: Surname form of "thought" (mysl)] and commission him to write something about this comet! The book will be my "in"! People have nearly driven themselves crazy thinking about this comet.!..

[Translator note: Rhyme scheme AABB]

Now I can seem to say
And this, even now, is easy to prove,
That people are dangerous with the mind,
And without the mind - terrible!

MR. CRITICISM.

[Translator note: Rhyme scheme AABBCCDDEEFF]

There are authors with us,
Who write on commission.
They are not angry at Critics
And they are not afraid of reviews!
And of strict Journalists,
Or the stupid Egoists,
Here is their answer -
A famous verse:
"One will write nonsense,
Another can parse it;
It’s harder to learn
From someone smarter!"

END

Introduction and story index

Welcome to the Chrononauts blogspot page, where we'll be posting obscure science fiction works in the public domain that either have not...